My Little Smarty Girl

Two months have gone by? What?? Ok, I’ll admit it. I’m a procrastinator.

Really, it’s a disease I’ll always have to fight with, tomorrow.

At Six Flags Fright Nights (Ava did not like it)

Looking her gosh darn cutest!

Anyway, updates: Ava’s next two bottom teeth are coming in. That will make a grand total of 6 teeth and she’s 16 months old. She’ll be 17 months at the end of October. And mommy will be 27. I feel old. Yesterday she had a 1 year screening by the Parents As Teachers program. She’s still pretty nervous around her parent educator but she performed well. Mary Beth tested her on fine and gross motor skills, language, and social skills. She far succeeded her age group in everything! In her social skills and gross motor (throwing a ball overhand) she tested in the 18 to 24 months range. In fine motor she was within her age group but on the far end of it. And surprisingly, in language, she tasted at around a two year old!!! Mary Beth chalked it up to doing sign language with her, reading to her all the time, talking to her. It really makes me feel good to know that all my hard work will pay off. And Ava has always been a really smart baby. I guess that extra week and a half of development in my tummy and all the brain-boosting breast milk helped too. I just love my smarty pants.

Our little GQ and his ladies

Every day her personality shines through more and more. She’s got a funny bone like no other kid I’ve ever known. I read that second children are usually the funny ones, or the last child because they have to crack everyone up to get attention. Maybe Ava is like that because she has her cousins around all the time so she gets all kinds of attention from them when she cracks up like a little hyena every time they giggle. Her laugh is certainly contagious. She’s a stickler for routine too. She likes to have a yogurt cup every morning for breakfast while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She has to have her bedtime routine the same way every night. And she still tells me, when it’s 7:00, it’s bedtime. Right now, Mike walked outside and she's yelling for him to come back. Not only does our house ring with my voice yelling, "Miiiike?!" Now, we hear Ava yelling, "Miiiiiiii!" I've tried to start yelling for Daddy, but she prefers to call him Mike... Oh well!


My doll face!


A few nights ago we were going through our routine, same as ever. Mike washes Ava. They play in the tub for a little bit while I get her jammies, diaper, lotion, and book all laid out. Well, I was procrastinating, of course I do it at the last minute, and suddenly I heard Mike scream. (Literally, it was a scream I never thought my manly husband could make.) I ignored it… guilty. Next he said, in a very panicky voice, “Veronica, get in here QUICK!” So I walked to the bathroom and said, “What the heck?” To which he, freaking out, yelled, “Hurry! Ava pooped in the tub!” As I started to laugh… him, “It’s not funny! Help me!”… me, “Ew, its HUGE! How could that come out of her?” The whole time, Ava was trying desperately to climb out of the tub because her daddy screamed at the poop and she had no idea where it came from. For all she knew it was dangerous stuff. We wiped off her tushy as much as possible and Mike handed her to me (she still smelled like poo). I was telling Mike, “Hurry up she stinks!” as he walked out to the kitchen. I said, “What are you doing? Hurry up! She’s scared and wants to snuggle and I CAN’T!” To which Mike yelled, “I need some gloves!” Well, sadly, for him, we used to have a box of gloves under the sink but I would use them all the time so I didn’t have to touch meat. They’ve been used up for a while now, needless to say I don’t cook as often as I did with them. I told him the gloves were gone and he huffed and puffed and then grabbed, of all things, a plastic grocery bag! Of course, when a plastic bag gets wet it sticks together but I didn’t want to deter him from getting the tub cleaned out quickly so I just let him go for it. Finally he got the poo out and I set Ava on the sink in the bathroom. I told him to hold on to her while I cleaned the tub. (Which he didn’t think we needed to do… ugh, men.) Then I cleaned it with SoftScrub, best stuff ever. Ava REALLY didn’t want to get back in the tub, she thought she was done. Mike washed her all over again and finally the crisis was behind us. The whole thing was so funny, looking back, that I had to share. I think every kid poops in the tub at least once in their first few years. This makes twice for my kid. Oy.

Talking to My Monkey

Ava's top right tooth finally popped through exactly one week ago. It's mate has yet to appear although I can feel it under her gums so... any day now. Her personality is really shining throught now. She's a ham. She cheezes for the camera. She prays. Now that's really cute. She will close her eyes as tightly as she can, clasp her little hands and then open her eyes looking very proud of herself. I'm pretty impressed that that is what she chooses to do to mimic me, given all the other embarassing things she could choose to do!

She's always got to be in the action. Not one of those "never-seen, never-heard" kids. Do those even exist? She's been perfecting saying a lot of new words and phrases. (Early? My pride says yes!) She says:

1.) Chansh Euooo! (Thank you - goes with signing is said VERY enthusiastically!)

2.) Eysh (Ice - one of her favorite things.)

3.) Yuck (Apparently it's one of the things mommy says a lot)

4.) Thuck (Stuck - which, at first sounded like "yuck" and gets said often when mommy puts her in the high chair or grocery cart seat and buckles her in. My response... "I know you're stuck... I stuck you there.")

5.) Aaaallllaaaaa (All done - goes with signing.)

6.) Ish (Fish)

7.) Oosh (Shoes - is it just me or don't all kids say it this way at first?)

8.) Kittykittykittykitty (Said really fast with no spaces... just like I typed it... but while running after Loki or carrying him like a purse down the hallway.)

9.) Waaa Daaa (Want down - pretty often!)

10.) Auwaa (Water)

11.) Mao (The kitty cat says...)

12.) Aye aye... OOOOOoooooooo (Singing along with the Spongebob themesong. About the funniest thing I've ever seen.)

Those are the only ones I can think of now. On top of that she's getting really good at signing the things she wants. Now I need to teach her the sign for "help." I'm getting really tired of the screaming, hitting, pinching, etc. when she wants me to help her with something.

Ava is almost weaned now. I hurt my back (tore a ligament off/partially off my spine) about a week and a half ago and couldn't nurse. It was too painful and I was on pain meds so I decided that making it to 14 months was really good and I guess I still haven't stopped nursing completely and hopefully won't soon. I was only in pain for a couple of days (being engorged). The back pain only lasted about a week (then my neck hurt).

Ava still gets that one nursing session of the day right at bedtime after her bath. It sets my mind at ease that it's not complete weaning. I had wanted to have her nurse until she was two, at least. She is sleeping better at least. And her eating during the day has picked up which makes me feel better as before this she had lost 3.5 lbs in a month.

Lots of going to playgroups, swimming, having friends over and general activity around here. This time in a toddler's life is all about repitition and Ava is surely doing a lot of that. We must do everything over and over and over again until she's satisfied and can move on. Climbing on chairs, couches, tables, anything she can get her leg up on is her favorite activity this week. So with all this activity going on is it any wonder why naptime is pretty close to my favorite time? My favorite has to be when she is getting sleepy and snuggles with me. No "milkies" for naps has made us closer and she loves to snuggle down to sleep now. I know when she's tired now too because she climbs onto my lap and lays her head on my chest.

My baby is now a toddler. Bittersweet.

Would You Like Some Cheese With That Wean?

It's been too long since my last post. As always, a lot has happened. Our lovely little garden is producing a little extra produce for us. The cucumbers below are tasty but grew in this awfully weird shape. Mike thought they might have crossed with a watermelon but I don't think so. They are only about the size on my hand. Our tomatoes got blown down by a big storm and are bent at the stem now but I keep pushing them back up and they keep falling back over. They are still producing tomatoes so I guess they're ok!

In Ava news... She is now 14 months old. She's been slowly losing weight lately, much to my concern. In the past 25 days she's lost 3.5 lbs and she now weighs 22 lbs. Otherwise she is happy and very healthy so I'm not worrying too much. Just keeping an eye on it.

Still just the two bottom teeth. The top ones feel really close though. We try to remember to put her teething necklace on everyday because I definitely notice a difference in her mood when she is wearing it.

We've finally come to the eventuality of weaning. It's been a tough time but the circumstances were beyond anyone's control. Two nights ago I was nursing Ava in the night and I rolled her off my arm and onto her side of the bed. When I tried to move around to get myself comfortable, I felt a sharp pain between my shoulder blades. My first thought was that Mike needed to pop my back to relieve it but as I moved around it was hurting so badly I could hardly get out of bed. Mike took off work yesterday to get me to the doctor. I was sure I had a slipped disk or something serious. It turns out I had separated (or partially separated) a ligament from my spine. It should take about a week to heal. I can't pick up Ava, get into a comfortable position to hold her, or nurse. I feel so sorry for her that she will be missing out on those last few months of nursing that I had planned on. This wasn't the way I wanted to wean. I had always hoped that we could do it slowly, letting Ava decide when. I guess God had other plans.

I am seeing the good in this situation. Since this is truly beyond my ability to control the situation I feel a lot less guilty about weaning. We are keeping the post-bath, bedtime routine nursing but that is it. Last night was Ava's first night with no "milkies." From the time she went to bed to 5 am she had no milk. Then, for who knows what reason (I can only speculate), she woke up screaming and crying to the point of choking and gagging. I decided it was too much, too fast and let her nurse that time too. It killed my back but I needed to give her that.

Tonight should be easier.

We have been enjoying our summer. Getting out with friends and spending some time in the forest has really made our summer complete. We're still crossing our fingers and praying that some of the jobs Mike has applied for recently will come through. One, in Dickinson, ND sounds promising. We'll see. Oregon, Colorado, North Dakota? I'd go anywhere if it meant we could have a secure income.

I guess this is all I can write for now. My back is seizing up as I sit here. Wish us luck for all this new junk going on. :)

May... Big Month of Firsts!

Wow, what a month... what to report first? Ava got her first tooth two days ago! The bottom right one. Nana was so excited! She's been looking for that tooth for months. It finally came through. I guess it was waiting for her to turn one.

We've been very busy lately. Ava is an on-the-go sort of kid and I try to keep up with her. Unkie Dave Ring came to visit around the middle of the month and we had a blast! We went to the zoo with him. Ava learned a few new signs there and she loved trying to figure out what all those animals were. She mostly thought they were all dogs, cats, birds, or ducks. She did learn what an elephant was and that was so cute! (See picture below!) While he was here we also had Ava's birthday party a week early. She got some awesome toys for her birthday including some clothes and a bunch of wooden food toys, which is what I had asked people to get her. Nana got her the fruit set and Mike and I found her a used lot of sushi, sandwiches, and pizza on Ebay. She loves them. Fake food was one of my favorite things to play with when I was little so I wanted to pass that on to Ava.

On May 17th, Mike and I have been married for two years!

Ava started walking on her own two weeks before she turned one! I thought she was ready to walk but she always wanted to hold my hand so I went out and got her some used push toys. A ball popper and a car that turns into a pusher. The ball popper was so exciting she forgot I wasn't there and just walked away with it! So the first time she walked on her own was April 30th. But she was holding the popper. Two weeks later she tried walking without the push toys and just took off! She's so smart!

She got her own cake on her birthday. I put whipped cream on it so she wasn't getting a ton of sugar and nasty stuff and she loved it! Her personality, careful and calculating, shined through as she ate the cake. She just played in the whipped cream until the cousins showed her how to really dig in. She's a lot like me.

We went to Six Flags for the first time this summer, Ava's second time. She liked it so much more this time - she was only a couple months old last time. Even though we were there all day from open to close, she stayed happy and we all had lots of fun. She only nursed once but we all made sure she was getting lots of food and drinks and she stayed content all day except for when she got tired. Only one nap that day though because she was so excited and there was so much to look at!

I haven't been feeling well lately. Really nauseous, headaches, cramping, nipple pain. I though I was pregnant. It was really disappointing to find out I'm not. I think with the nursing my hormones are all out of whack. Maybe I'm ovulating. I'm ready for the next baby. Ava would make a great big sister! Hopefully I feel better soon.

In sad news... Aunt Patti passed away suddenly while having a gallbladder surgery on May 13th. I am going to miss that woman more than anything. She had a heart bigger than anyone. It was really hard on Robin. I'm glad we're going to Gatlinburg on Sunday, that way we can help her get her mind off of it a little bit. Aunt Patti, you will be missed. I just wish you could have met Ava and Mike.

I can't wait to go to Gatlinburg on Sunday. I miss my family being here in the middle of nowhere. It will be so good to have 9 days with Robin and Dad.

Once again, I'll try to update more often.

April's News

Ok... so I'm a bad blogger. It's been too long since I updated. But there's a lot to report about Ava. We've been keeping really busy lately. We have met a ton of new moms many of whom share my feelings about mothering which really helps. I love having other moms like me to bounce ideas off of and it really helps to keep me feeling great about the mothering choices I make. I know it shouldn't matter what other people think and ultimately it doesn't but I love having a support group.

Here's a sweet picture of Ava asleep in the backpack. She always falls asleep in there. Mike and I were messing around in the yerd the other day and she just konked out so I set her down and put the umbrella over her to keep off the sun and she slept like that for a while.

In other news, Ava in really getting mobile now. Not walking by herself but hse loves to hold my hand and walk me around everywhere. If I forget to hold her hand and try to walk past her it really makes her upset. So I try to include her in everything I do and we've been having fun with that. She really likes to help me. She likes to sit on the counter while I cook and she comes to the bathroom with me and sits on her own little potty. We've been working on getting her used to the potty for a little while now and she seems really excited by it. Monday, I put her on the potty before her bath and she actually peed in it! I thought that was just a fluke cause she usually pees when the water for her bath is running but then this morning right when she woke up I thought she might need to go and, sure enough, she went in the potty. Then, I was in there earlier today and she tried to climb on by herself to I thought I'd try it just to see if she had to go and she did it again! She knows what to do on there now so hopefully I can figure out when she needs to go and we'll be using less diapers in no time. I spend a lot of my energy on helping us to communicate better. I always tell her what I'm going to do or what we are doing and it's making us so in synch. She points at everything and I tell her what it is. She's started brushing her hair and her teeth now. When we are doing our bedtime routine we put her in the tub and daddy always blows the washcloth off the bar where we hang it so she coppies him. It's so funny to see her look up at it and try to blow it down like daddy. Then when she's done in the tub I clean her ears. She LOVES having her ears cleaned. Her eyes roll back in her head every time. Then we put on her PJ's and she sometimes helps me by pushing her arms through. After that I comb her hair and she tries to do it herself. Too adorable. And I brush her teeth. She loves to brush her teeth. I put the little nubby thing on my finger and she grabs it and moves it back and forth to brush her teeth - still non-existant though. We read a book then she goes down so easily. We've been having a hard time after I go to bed though. She want so badly to cuddle. I'm hoping she grows out of this bad sleeping pattern. I'm just biding my time. I'm really not sleeping well but if I have to sacrifice that's ok. A friend of mine just had to wean her almost 2 year old because she wasn't gettign any sleep and I dread doing that to Ava now. Maybe if she was older...

She's turning so quickly into a little kid. She signs what she needs all the time. She comes up to me and signs "milk" or "diaper" when she needs to. She signs "drink and eat" when she wants those. She's saying "bye-bye" now all the time. Yesterday I was busy and I guess she got bored but, she crawled over to the door and started saying "bye-bye." I guess she wanted to leave. She gives kisses and hugs to people she knows well. And she learns things so quickly! I credit the mommy milk. On the 15th, she said her own name for the first time. She was sitting on the counter and she kept pointing at her picture on the cabinet and I'd say "that's Ava" and pretty soon she started to say "dat Abba!" And today she started saying "wa Abba?" when she covers her eyes because that's the game we play. She covers her eyes and I say, "where's Ava?" and she uncovers her eyes and I say, "peekaboo!" It's so sweet to see her learning and talking so much. She also says "light" although it sounds like "ite" because she's obsessed with lights. And she loves to be outside. She cries when I make her come in from playing in the front yard.

Speaking of outside, we have been planting this week. We have two smallish boxes that Mike built for raised beds. In one we've got a Japanese eggplant, three zucchini, some lemon balm, mint, and three rows of onions. In the other box I just planted rows of watermelon, basil, lavender, cucumber and carrots. Inside, I am starting some garlic to see if it will grow. We need one more box for the last few things I need to plant but then we should have a respectable garden!

This is what happened when daddy left his chocolate milk glass where Ava could reach it. We've forgiven him. :)

A Few Posts In One

(Monday, March 29) Wow… I have so much to report. Ava learned how to blow kisses. She blows kisses at just about anything she likes. It’s adorable. She finally found her feet. Well, she knew they were there but finally learned how fun they are to eat! She giggles like crazy when she gets them up to her face and because she’s also pretending everything is a phone, she gets her little foot up to her ear and says, “huh!” I guess she’s copying me and Mike when we say hi on the phone.

It seems like she’s teething on everything. Drooling a ton. I have been awaiting teeth for a long time now and I’m not gonna guess when they’re coming. She’s also been letting go of whatever she has been holding on to a lot. She just stands there for a little bit trying to keep her balance, then it’s, boom, right onto her bum. She kicked the cold she had earlier this month but now she had another one. The bulb sucker is her nemisis. Her little nose is all red from me wiping it, another thing she hates.

Ava went swimming for the second time. This was the first time she really enjoyed it. We were there at the indoor pool for about an hour and she had a blast. We were all exhausted when we got home. No pictures from that excursion but we will have plenty of other pics from swimming this summer, I’m sure.

Aside from all this news, it has been turning spring and there have been a number of beautiful days where Ava and I just sit outside and play in the grass or go for a walk down to the park. We’ve been making new friends too and have a bunch of kids that Ava loves to play with. We’re all looking forward to summer and more beautiful days!

(Friday, March 26) We had a playdate with Ava’s friend Loyal. Ava had so much fun, and a nap surprisingly! After seeing Loyal eat like a big boy we tried it when we got home. Ava sat in her high chair and ate a whole jar of carrots! Then, later, she saw the kitties and let go of the chair she was holding on to and took a step!!!!!!! She’s getting so big! I can’t wait for her to start walking.



Here it is Friday (March 18) and, sure enough, breastfeeding Ava has helped her kick this cold right out! I’m glad I didn’t give her needless antibiotics. We had a bit of an upset this week. I started babysitting for a friend Monday and Ava hated it. Isabel was good and was an easy kid to sit for but man, Ava did not like having another kid around. Especially one that can run away from her and doesn’t give her every toy she wants. It was really hard to make the decision to stop babysitting Isabel. But Ava was crying all day long and throwing tantrums over nothing. I had to make a choice. My baby’s happiness is more important than helping a friend, making a little extra money, or anything else.

I finally knew it was too much when Ava had a breakdown over me closing the lid to a water bottle one night. I closed the lid and she FREAKED! Tears and all! It scared me. I don’t want to have a spoiled brat for a baby. It really made me second guess the parenting I’ve been doing. I mean, I give her what she wants all the time because it really doesn’t affect anything but here we were battling over whether or not I leave the lid to the water bottle open. I let her cry about it until she calmed down then I opened the lid so she could see that calming down gets her what she wants. I hated to let her cry like that but I needed her to learn that it was completely irrational and silly to cry because she didn’t get her way. I refuse for her to be spoiled. I’ve been realizing though through all this that she understands me a lot more than I gave her credit for.
We’re still working on learning new signs and using the old ones correctly. Still making new friends. Amy had her baby last Friday. Annie – she named her. I can’t wait to meet her. Babies are so fun. I’m looking forward to nice weather. It got a little warmer today and I was able to clean out the car while Ava played in the pack-n-play. Warm weather makes me want to get organized and clean and exercise! Come on spring… quit teasing us!

(Wednesday, March 11) I have been a little lax in updating and getting things done this last couple of weeks. I have been nursing a cold for a while now and finally Ava and Mike caught it. Mike and I can handle a bad head cold just fine. Ava, on the other hand, has such a hard time. She got sick on Monday and on Tuesday night she was miserable. She cried really badly every time she started to fall asleep. We ended up having to walk her in her stroller around the block for an hour and a half. Finally we got home and just left her in the stroller. Every half hour after that she woke up crying bad and I had to Shhh her back to sleep and nurse her almost the whole night. The next day we went to the doctor and she said that Ava had inflammation in her right ear. She gave us a script for some Amoxicillin but I hate how doctors overprescribe antibiotics so we haven’t filled it. I don’t think we will have to now that the worst has passed. Her NP, Amy, finally admitted that she thinks they do overprescribe and that even if we did give it to her there’s a chance her eardrum could burst anyway and if it was a virus it would do no good anyway. She didn’t have a fever and didn’t seem like her ear was bothering her at all so I made a mommy decision and I’m gonna let her kick this one on her own.

Sick Mommy

So much new stuff to report. I have been very sick. Taking care of Ava and myself has been VERY hard. I have been trying to pull through it. Luckily Mike is between jobs right now so I have a ton of help. He has been so good to me and has been such an attentive Daddy. I have newfound respect for him as he has tried so hard to help me out even going to the trouble to take Ava out even when I didn't want him to. He's trying to force me to relax. Haha! I never thought someone would have to force me to go relax and take a nap. Being a mom has done wonders for my responsibility issues.

We got a new bed with the tax return this year. The waterbed (that I lived in while pregnant) sprung a slow leak and we had to trash it. We moved the old bed into the guest room and setup the new bed in our room with Ava's crib next to it. She stays in there pretty well while we aren't in there. As soon as we get in bed later, she is ready to snuggle. It's so nice because we can sleep together as a family finally. Ava's also getting used to the new arrangements after about a week of crummy sleep. Now I can't sleep due to this cold. Can't wait to get a good night's sleep, something is always holding me back.

Ava has new friends! And so does Mommy. There's a new girl (mom) in the playgroup, Amy. She's pregnant with her second baby and has a 3 year old, Sofie. They are so sweet. We had them over before I got sick and it was fun. Then we went to Mike's co-worker's house in Newburg and they were so sweet. Their little boy, Logan, was suck a great sharer. He's only two but he was giving Ava toys and being so nice to her. He just didn't like it when she tried to touch him. So funny!


I love it that Ava is getting bigger and happier. She's more confident. She knows what she wants and can get it now. Well, most of the time. She is still working on that walking thing. A few times this week she has had a toy in one hand and was holding on to the table or the couch and she let go so that she could explore the toy with both hands! She can actually stand like that for a few seconds before falling on her tushy. It does me good to see her trying it on her own. Someone told me that their baby did that too and one day just started walking. I hope Ava stays on this early track. It will be such a boost to her confidence to be ahead of the pack!

Here is Mike taking great care of our little angel. We went and borrowed a pump from the health department and Mike has been taking over one of Ava's feedings and her solid food feedings a couple of times a day. He's been doing her baths and she's coming around to taking her naps for him. I miss having her as solely my responsibility but I'm glad he has been here because I have very little strength. This is changing who she follows when we leave the room! She'd rather hang out with Mike now. I'm not jealous. I knew it would change eventually and I know sometime it will change back. I'm looking forward to getting back on our schedule. Between being sick, the new bed, and having Mike home (as much as we like that!) we are off our schedule a lot.

It's beautiful outside today. Too bad I don't feel great. Can't really enjoy it. I want to take Ava on a hike. Maybe next week?

Big Girl!

Lately it seems like everything Ava does reminds me that she's not a baby anymore. She's turning into a little kid in front of me. She knows what she wants and signs to get it. She officially picked up a new sign three days ago and readily uses "eat" now!

We found a great deal on these Babylegs legwarmers and they are now my favorite article of clothing to dress her in. They keep her legs warm and make it easier to change her diaper without having to pull her tights down. Love 'em!

We went to a Teddy Bear Picnic today. It was more for the big kids. But Ava did have her first taste of Cheerios and raisins. She liked both of them a lot. We are working our way toward a really diverse palate. Baby steps. Hopefully those are on their way soon too. She will stand and barely hold something now but she's scared to do it by herself so if you let go she sits immediately.

No teeth yet either. ???

Smiles Are One of Life's Little Blessings

It's been really snowy and cold lately. I have been wanting to get out and start getting on my resolution to start losing weight. I've been exercising for 20 minutes (at least) every day. I feel like my core is getting stronger. It has also been good for Ava. We are getting in a useful schedule and it seems like it is helping her to deal with the changes that happen. She is sleeping a lot better after just a few nights of horrible sleep. One of the best peices of advice my mom ever gave me and the best advice I could ever give my children for when they have kids is that "this too shall pass!" It doesn't take long for something to naturally work itself out.

The past few days it's been getting over 40 degrees outside. Beautiful weather for getting out of the house. Ava is a get-up-and-go kind of baby and I want to be a busy and fit mommy. I want to be like my mom. (Yeah mom, I said it!) When we were kids my mom always had fun stuff for us to do and we got to go hiking and exploring all the time. I don't want to be a lazy mom and hold my daughter back. I want her to be able to have that inquisitive mind and for me to be physically able to foster exploration.


Ava is turning into a toddler in front of my eyes. It's happening overnight! She would rather play with the big kids more often than babies her own age. She seems bored by babies. We go to a playgroup once or twice a week and she sometimes reaches out and pets the babies but she crawls like mad to catch up with the kids that are walking and running. She'll be off with them in no time. Her cousins are especially interesting to her. She would ignore hunger, a dirty diaper, anything just to play with her cousins!

Well, here's proof that she's teething. We're trying a homeopathic remedy for teething pain, a baltic amber teething necklace. It supposedly releases oils that help with pain, saliva production, irritability, etc. related to teething. We shall see. I'm sceptical. At the very least, it's very cute and she gets comments all the time.

Along with the teething, there are more signs (no pun intended) that she's growing up so fast. She's signing like mad lately. She knows: "milk", "diaper", "all done", and "bye bye". Sometimes she tries "drink". We are still working on: "eat", "more", "bath", "cat", "dog", and "hurt". She's so smart! She is pulling herself to standing now with great ease and can walk next to you if you hold one hand. At 8 months and 3 weeks old she is in 12 month clothes and can sometimes get by in 18 month stuff but it's a little roomy. It's so great that she's big! And she finally has enough hair to hold the cute clippy's we have! She is still a little mama's girl and has a hard time seeing me walk away from her even if it is only a few steps.

Her newest thing, proven by these pictures, is this goofy little grin that she does when she sees the camera. I love how sweet she is. The other night as I was putting her to sleep she softly cupped my cheek and as she fell asleep her hand slipped off. I couldn't help but think how special children are. I don't know what I would do without her.

Still no sign of teeth!???

Mom got us a ton (18!) of cloth diapers. We're still working out the kinks of cloth diapering. It's great to have another option and I love being in the special cloth diapering "club." :)

This life is amazing. I have my husband and my daughter and my God. Me and my mom are closer than ever. I have everything I need!

Nighttime Memories

Lately I have been thinking so much about different styles of parenting. I wonder all the time why moms and dads can let thier children cry, deny them basic needs like food by setting up a scheduled feeding plan (i.e. conditioning a child sleep through the night prematurely), or how can moms go back to work?!

I can't imagine doing it. That being said, I know they have to - go back to work, that is. I'm just saying It would be too hard for me to be able to not only leave my daughter in someone else's care, but to also try to pull myself away from her day after day.

I love being a stay-at-home, attached, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, mommy who always answers my child's needs. One of the wonderful things about answering your baby when they cry is that they never really cry. Ava knows when she needs something, all she has to do is whine. Some may say that they don't like whining, but I dislike hearing her cry even more. And at least she trusts me enough to know that I will figure out what is wrong. Like before Mike and I go to bed, we put her in her crib for safety and do whatever we do until I go to bed. Then she spends the rest of the night with me so that Mike can get some good sleep since he works. But it's those times that she is alone in her crib that I try to give her all the comforting she needs when she needs it.

It's the little things I love about answering my daughter's cries at night. The way she immediately feels safe and puts her heavy little head on my shoulder. The comfort of her arm wrapped securely around my neck. Her tiny fingers softly caressing my hair as she drifts back to sleep forgetting whatever made her wake up and cry in the first place. Sometimes I wonder who is comforting whom.

Or there's the times when she whines for me and wants to eat. Those are some of the best moments together. When she needs me for something completely instinctual, that is when we are at our best. I love it when she drapes her arm across her face as she cuddles close to me. Sometimes all she needs is the reassurance at the breast that everything is ok. I often wonder if she had a bad dream or just needed to know I was there. Perhaps it is something I've forgotten; the need to be softly nursed back to sleep, the knowledge of someone who is pure safety holding you close and warm. Or perhaps not. Maybe that is why so many of us have problems sleeping. We miss our mommies.

Rising Above the Little Things

Time to write down my new year's resolutions. I haven't been looking forward to putting them in writing but I read that if you put them in writing you are more likely to try to keep them. So here goes...

Things I am trying to do better:

1.) Try to eat dinner at the dinner table as a family at least 4 times a week. (Which means making dinner just as often.)

2.) Try to be more organized including; cleaning the house, staying on track with my to do list for the month, bringing Ava to the playgroup once a week, getting Ava to bed on time, getting rid of the old junk we don't use, and anything else that helps my life go more smoothly.

3.) Going to all cloth diapers with just the occasional disposable as needed.

4.) Help Mike study for the GRE in an effort to get him back in school.

5.) Giving my blog the attention it needs more often and staying up-to-date on it. I plan to make this into a book for Ava someday and it is important that I don't miss anything.

6.) Being more positive.

7.) Practicing positive discipline for Ava and helping her to become a well rounded child and never losing my temper.

8.) Excercise more and eat less... lose weight.

9.) Spend quality time with my husband EVERY day.

10.) Take some time for myself every now and then to work on projects, paint my toenails, or just read.

11.) Being a more confident mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I have been unsure of the decisions I've made most of my life. This year I will be resolute in the things I have decided.

12.) Getting started in classes to finish my degree.

Here's to letting the little things go and focusing on the really important stuff.

Growing up... Ava, and me too!

Well, this picture is proof that I don't have a little baby anymore. She is growing up so fast! Monday she weighed 21 lbs. 4.5 oz. We went to Walmart that day and I had her in the sling the whole hour or so that we were there and so many people tried to talk to her. She really attracts a lot of attention (unwanted by her!). She gets so nervous when people talk to her. She looks at me to see if it's ok. People want to talk to her a lot because she looks mad or upset most of the time. It's really that she's thinking really hard.

Today I realized that Ava knows what the sign for milk means. She would only sign it when she was hungry but still only when I asked her to. Kind of nice to know she can kind-of communicate with me like that. We are still working on eat, drink, diaper, more, dog, cat, mommy, and daddy.

I had to teach Ava how to drink from a sippy cup while she was sick. She used to just teethe on them but transitioning from a bottle to a sippy in just a few days has helped her figure out how it works. It's nice my mom got us these pink ones. Also, she got us a bunch of BumGenius cloth diapers. Very chic! I have been using 6 and washing them pretty quickly and now we have 12 more en-route. I am so excited to have some more and start using them full-time, all the time.

So, I'm also feeling a little nostalgic. Mike and I just looked back at the pictures posted on here listening to the song that I put up, Evanescence: "Anywhere." It felt good but also made me a little sad thinking about not being able to adopt Abigail. I know everything happens for a reason, but that has been really hard to get over. I want Ava to have a sibling. I have had one for as long as I can remember. Dave and I have always been close. I don't want Ava to miss out on that special relationship. I'm letting my body and Ava decide when we are ready to have another baby but both Mike and I are ready for whoever is coming next. I hate that other people think we don't know what we are doing when we say we want more kids already. It was really hard to share that we were thinking of adopting because I was scared we'd get no support. And we didn't really get much, which sort of proves my fears.

Anyway, enough of that. It's a bit depressing. Ava seems like she would benefit from having a sibling, and it feels right to everyone so we'll see what happens and when. I finally feel like enough of an adult to stand up for my feelings about it.

So here we all are sitting at the dinner table, finally. This is our first family meal at the table. It's our goal to eat dinner here at least 4 times a week. Now that Ava seems to be liking finger foods and we have a table! we can work on having quality family time at the dinner table. It's important.

My mom had a good idea, to eventually get these posts made into a book. Maybe that will keep me writing more often. What a fun idea!

Well, it's been a little while since I posted anything. I guess I have put it off because posting pictures on this thing is so not user-friendly and usually Ava is in my hair all day which makes taking the time to do it really hard. She is mobile now and nothing withing reach is safe. She is pulling herself up to standing and cruising the couches. She goes into the kitchen and pulls herself up on everything in view! I also have to watch her carefully because she goes into the pantry and eats the cat food. So gross. She still hollers when I leave the room though even though now she can follow me. Her separation anxiety is really bad. I couldn't even teach at church today without holding her the whole time.

Ava has been a little sick this month. She had a fever (101-103.3) for a couple of days going down during the day. It didn't seem right so I took her to the doctor and it turned out that the NP thought she had a UTI. After culturing the throat swab she determined that she had a strep infection and that caused a rash to break out on her for a few hours. She might also have a UTI but I hope not. We're waiting to hear back on that one.

I have been feeling kind of lost lately. I miss my family and have been having a hard time making friends here. I have felt like I'm missing my purpose. I'm trying really hard to do the right thing.

We have been making some tough decisions lately that I can't really go into details about right now, but suffice it to say that hopefully some big changes are on the way.

So, I'm not going to promise to update the blog more often because I think I'm going to move back to writing in a real journal instead and updating this a couple of times a month, but I only have a couple of people who look at it so I guess it's ok. I know that would be more important for Ava later down the line to have a tangible record of her life and what has been important to me.