Update!

Here's Miss Ava 27 1/2 months old. She's a character and she knows it!

Our kiddo would do anything for a laugh! She's getting so big too! She wears 3T clothes and she's taller than all the kids around here who are older than her. She's a delight to be around. :)

And Ava's going to be a big sister. In case you hadn't heard, we are 22 weeks pregnant. Baby GIRL #2 is due sometime in the middle of January 2012 (EDD Jan 15).

 Here's lookin' at you kid... straight at you. Yeah, it's a little creepy to see her face from this angle, but the little sweetheart wouldn't cooperate! She's really been a mover. It really surprises me how much she's moving! The ultrasound confirlmed that she's growing just right. Nothing could make me happier than to hear that our little rainbow baby is doing just fine!

Getting homesick, mommy and Ava went to visit Poppa and Noni in Pocatello. It was an awesome time for both of us. Ava re-connected with them instantly. She had such a wonderful time! Mommy was able to relax a bit and have some special time with her mommy. we didn't want to leave but we had to get home to daddy who was working overtime. We really can't wait to get out of Chester again. Everyone is looking forward to our next trip. Come November we will be visiting Nana, Tara, Dave, and the kids in Missouri. Can't wait!

I Believe the Children are Our Future

Let me preface this post by saying, I am not the perfect person. I do not profess to know all there is about parenting. But I do know a lot. I know that I love my family. I love my daughter. Being a mother is the profession I've chosen over being a Veterinarian, Nurse, Educator, or Nutritionist (for now). The reason I've laid by all my other goals for being those things is that I get do all of those, everyday, as a mom. I consider this choice to be a mother as my career. And because, in any career I would have otherwise chosen, I would strive to be the best I could possibly be, I do my research. Part of my day is spent researching ways to become a better mother. But lately I keep coming across an issue that cannot leave my mind. It is for this reason, I have to write this post.

We really dislike the word discipline around here.

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't set boundaries or limits for my child. I means that the word discipline has taken on negative connotations and most often means spanking and time-outs. I really dislike hearing people say that you must spank your child, count to three, or put them in time-out to get a child to behave.

I experienced a lot of this sort of "discipline" when I was a child. Our babysitter would paddle us whenever we were in trouble. I remember her slapping me across the face because I wasn't going to sleep one night. Instead I was lying in my sleeping bag pretending to drive a bus. She had a paddle-ball paddle, ball removed, to spank us with. And I haven't really come to terms with all of this. I fear doing to my child what she did to me. I grew up having bad self esteem and feared authority. Perhaps it's because of this trauma that I am so enraged when people confuse "discipline" for love.

If we really love our children, we will find truly loving ways of guiding them through this world without hitting or shaming or sticking them alone into a corner to think about what they've done. The way that we handle our children's problems is the way they will handle their own problems. Hit them when things go wrong and they will learn that violence is ok and that it's alright to pick on the little guy. Shame them into changing their behavior and they will learn to dislike who they are. Exchange time-outs (alone) for time-ins (time on mom's lap discussing the problem).

What I have learned (from hours upon hours of personal study) is that when a child does something wrong, there is ALWAYS something behind that behavior. Whether it's lack of sleep, hunger, pain, loneliness, boredom, inability to express themselves or anything else, it can be solved with love - no matter what.

The result of parenting in this way is a child who calms easier, is happier for longer, and is able to deal with their own feelings in a more productive way. Ava is proof that it works. Sure, we've got meltdowns (both of us). But they don't last very long and we always re-connect afterward. She knows I'm there helping her work through it. It's worth it to treat your little ones with respect. We want them to grow up and show respect to the whole world.

Our Mission Statement

My reason for everything!

After talking to my mom one night about the importance of having a missions statement, I set about making our family's. So here it is... :)

Our Family Mission Statement:

Our purpose as a family is to communicate effectively, treat each other with respect and love, and realize our goals in a way that lets us best develop our skills and talents creatively, strengthens our character, bodies, minds, and souls, and allows us to work as one in our eternal family so that we can raise and become strong, independent, thoughtful, and intelligent individuals while keeping our faith in God.

We will accomplish this by:

1.) Accepting everyone as they are, but encouraging growth and change for the better.

2.) Speaking to each other with respect and showing consideration at all times. We are courteous and kind.

3.) Encouraging each other to make right choices and supporting righteous decisions. The choices we make affect those we love. In serious matters, we act as a family unit.

4.) Valuing privacy and trust. We know that there are consequences to all of our actions and we agree to take responsibility for our choices.

5.) Living our lives to be a good example for others. We expect to be treated the way we treat others.

6.) Performing our responsibilities, callings, jobs, and careers to the best of our ability.

7.) Keeping our sights on the Temple and the Celestial Kingdom at all times in our lives.

8.) Knowing who we are - children of our Heavenly Father, and what we represent - His Church. We conduct ourselves in a way that does not tarnish the name of those. For this reason, we do not use profanity, do not take the Lord’s name in vain, and follow the Word of Wisdom and the teachings of the Prophets.

9.) Working to live debt free (except for necessary debts) and conduct our finances in a way that leaves us free from needless burden. We do not need the newest or the best of everything in order to feel fulfilled.

10.) Making plans for the future and striving to follow through with those plans to reach our goals.

11.) Encouraging young men (and women if they so choose) to go on a worthy mission and preparing financially for that eventuality.

12.) Operating from one income so that mom can stay home and manage the running and raising of our family.

13.) Trying to keep Family Home Evening as a priority on Monday nights and keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

14.) Making sure our bodies, minds, and home are clean. We act with humility and modesty.

15.) Tithing honestly and giving fast and other offerings when possible. Instead of giving money to charities, we know that the Lord knows best where to distribute our offerings and we will do so through His Church.

16.) Taking and making opportunities to serve others whenever possible. We strive to use and develop our talents and gifts to benefit others.

17.) Keeping food storage on hand, working up to maintaining and rotating a year’s worth of food for our family, and keeping our 72 hour kits stocked and nearby in case of emergency.

18.) Giving our elders, leaders, and teachers the respect and attention they deserve.

19.) Respecting our country and its leaders. We recognize that we are blessed to live in America and will obey the law and follow the rules put forth by our leaders. If we don’t agree with the law, we will take appropriate and legal actions to facilitate the change we desire.

20.) Showing pride in our family members’ accomplishments and successes and supporting them through their defeats, failures, and trials.

New In Town!

Ava playing at a rest stop.

We've been the new blood in Chester for almost two weeks now. It snowed a ton the day we were headed up here. We got a chance to stop by and see Noni and Papa (as Ava calls Grandpa now) in Idaho before heading north. We got to Chester just before a huge storm that dumped some snow. Not too bad, but we were a little worried. The next day, we tried to ready the house for the movers but, really, how much can you do in one day? The highlight of the move was when the 18 wheeler got stuck in the snow/slush and the deputy had to pull him out with his Ford. The sheriff's guys were so proud.

Our new church home!

We made it to church the next Sunday and found that the branch here has a lovely bunch of people and quite an eclectic mix. The President is like a big kid. His wife is the sweetest woman I've ever met. There are a couple of families who have welcomed us into the branch/community with open arms. They both have kids. We've gotten along smashingly. I hope they like me. Both Mike and I are eager to please and since we really want to be a part of this community, we've been worried about it more than usual. Mike's job is going well. He has a lot on his plate. It seems like every time he comes home I hear about his new "baby" at work - another project his boss has him in charge of. I think he secretly likes it! Ava and I have made it to a playgroup a couple times. I like our options for friends here. Still, I hope they like me too. :)

Conference was this last weekend and Ava loves playing "Find President Monson." :)

Bathtime fun.

Ava and Daddy watching a movie.

Netflix is the big deal in our house now. It's working well in place of cable! We're settling in to our new life quite nicely and are working out a few kinks. I'm still trying to be supermom. Thus far I'd give myself an A for effort.

Looking Back - The Last 5 Months

Well, well, well, what have we here? I'm a procrastinator of the worst sort. Okay. I admit. I haven't felt like writing about anything for a while becasue I've been sort of wallowing in a little sadness. I thought that things weren't going so well, so it was harder and harder to come up with good things to say. As I don't want other people to hear me gripe, I just quit writing. Well, I'm done with that part of my life now. Lots of really great things happened and I know we've all grown. Now lets move on. :)

We went to Seattle to visit Noni and Grandpa, Unkie Dave and Amie in November. Christmas was very nice. New Years was good. I made zero resolutions since I obviously didn't keep with the ones I made last year. They make me nervous so I didn't make any. :) Around the end of January, we found out we were pregnant, just to find out that we were having an early miscarriage. It was hard since we have been waiting for baby #2 since Ava turned a year old. We have both come to our own terms with the loss though. we're really looking forward to the next few months since the chances are higher that we will get pregnant now. Thank you hormones!

We also found out a month ago that Mike got accepted for an awesome job in chester, Montana! He will be a Natural Resource Specialist for the Department of Reclaimation. We're so excited to move. It's been sort of sad though. We have to leave our home of the past two years. Rolla has been so great to us (aside from not offering us jobs). I have made some lifelong friends. Our family is here. It's where Ava was born. I think the hardest thing is separating Ava and her cousins. But we're still excited. It's a great opportunity to start our own lives and it's going to be the start of quite an adventure.

Ava is still doing really well. She's so smart! She is still beyond her peers in development. She is speaking in short two or three word sentences now. She's getting into everything and making huge messes. I'm glad I know it's just a part of her learning what happens when she pulls all the keys off my keyboard or dumps the crackers on the floor and then grinds them in. She's learning... it's ok. I just have to keep repeating that to myself to keep my sanity. We're working on not reacting harshly. That's the first thing you want to do is yell and get mad. That's really no way to be. I hate feeling angry or mad and it's really just a part of the process, so why get mad?

She's quite the copycat too! We've really got to watch what we say and do because she can hear a word once and repeat it. Yesterday that word was "Shut-up" thanks to her cousins. I have always hated that word. It's good that she's so cute though... it came out as "Shup bup." I can handle that. People tell me the Terrible Two's are here. I can't think of it that way! She's not terrible. She's amazing! Everything she does these days makes me laugh or shake my head in wonder.

She's tall and skinny. Well, I say skinny but she looks good. For a while I was worrying about her weight dropping but I finally decided that her body knows what is best and she's evened out now. She's stopped now around the 18th percentile for height to weight and now we're all ok with that. :)

My plans for the future are to become a better stay-at-home mom. I'm really hoping that this move, and getting into a routine like we once had when mike had a 9-5, will help me be able to cook dinners every night. I'm trying to do at least one learning activity with Ava a day. These aren't necessarily learning based but more fun things that we can do one-on-one. I feel awfully in-between these days as we don't know the exact day that the movers are coming. Since we're being moved we can't pack our own things. That's a blessing and a curse. I feel kind of in limbo. I'm hoping, now that we will be far from all our family members, to keep track of posting updates. I won't even say a goal lest I jinx myself. I just hope to be all-around more thoughtful with my life to be a better wife and mother than I feel like I have been lately. Luckily, I think my fibromyalgia/joint pain is lessening again. It got to its highest point from Oct-Dec which is also why I havn't felt like writing much. When you feel like crap, your outlook is crap and I didn't want that to come out in print. I think that voicing it when I am in pain helps though. I want my kids to know that it is ok to feel bad for a while. It's part of the process of making your way out of trials. You CAN wallow. As long as you work on making it out of the pain and then asses how you've grown it's ok. I've grown a lot from the last two years. I feel like the last two years have been our trial. Now, as we make our way to (hopefully) better times, I hope I am thankful enough and can grow from it.