Big Girl!

Lately it seems like everything Ava does reminds me that she's not a baby anymore. She's turning into a little kid in front of me. She knows what she wants and signs to get it. She officially picked up a new sign three days ago and readily uses "eat" now!

We found a great deal on these Babylegs legwarmers and they are now my favorite article of clothing to dress her in. They keep her legs warm and make it easier to change her diaper without having to pull her tights down. Love 'em!

We went to a Teddy Bear Picnic today. It was more for the big kids. But Ava did have her first taste of Cheerios and raisins. She liked both of them a lot. We are working our way toward a really diverse palate. Baby steps. Hopefully those are on their way soon too. She will stand and barely hold something now but she's scared to do it by herself so if you let go she sits immediately.

No teeth yet either. ???

Smiles Are One of Life's Little Blessings

It's been really snowy and cold lately. I have been wanting to get out and start getting on my resolution to start losing weight. I've been exercising for 20 minutes (at least) every day. I feel like my core is getting stronger. It has also been good for Ava. We are getting in a useful schedule and it seems like it is helping her to deal with the changes that happen. She is sleeping a lot better after just a few nights of horrible sleep. One of the best peices of advice my mom ever gave me and the best advice I could ever give my children for when they have kids is that "this too shall pass!" It doesn't take long for something to naturally work itself out.

The past few days it's been getting over 40 degrees outside. Beautiful weather for getting out of the house. Ava is a get-up-and-go kind of baby and I want to be a busy and fit mommy. I want to be like my mom. (Yeah mom, I said it!) When we were kids my mom always had fun stuff for us to do and we got to go hiking and exploring all the time. I don't want to be a lazy mom and hold my daughter back. I want her to be able to have that inquisitive mind and for me to be physically able to foster exploration.


Ava is turning into a toddler in front of my eyes. It's happening overnight! She would rather play with the big kids more often than babies her own age. She seems bored by babies. We go to a playgroup once or twice a week and she sometimes reaches out and pets the babies but she crawls like mad to catch up with the kids that are walking and running. She'll be off with them in no time. Her cousins are especially interesting to her. She would ignore hunger, a dirty diaper, anything just to play with her cousins!

Well, here's proof that she's teething. We're trying a homeopathic remedy for teething pain, a baltic amber teething necklace. It supposedly releases oils that help with pain, saliva production, irritability, etc. related to teething. We shall see. I'm sceptical. At the very least, it's very cute and she gets comments all the time.

Along with the teething, there are more signs (no pun intended) that she's growing up so fast. She's signing like mad lately. She knows: "milk", "diaper", "all done", and "bye bye". Sometimes she tries "drink". We are still working on: "eat", "more", "bath", "cat", "dog", and "hurt". She's so smart! She is pulling herself to standing now with great ease and can walk next to you if you hold one hand. At 8 months and 3 weeks old she is in 12 month clothes and can sometimes get by in 18 month stuff but it's a little roomy. It's so great that she's big! And she finally has enough hair to hold the cute clippy's we have! She is still a little mama's girl and has a hard time seeing me walk away from her even if it is only a few steps.

Her newest thing, proven by these pictures, is this goofy little grin that she does when she sees the camera. I love how sweet she is. The other night as I was putting her to sleep she softly cupped my cheek and as she fell asleep her hand slipped off. I couldn't help but think how special children are. I don't know what I would do without her.

Still no sign of teeth!???

Mom got us a ton (18!) of cloth diapers. We're still working out the kinks of cloth diapering. It's great to have another option and I love being in the special cloth diapering "club." :)

This life is amazing. I have my husband and my daughter and my God. Me and my mom are closer than ever. I have everything I need!

Nighttime Memories

Lately I have been thinking so much about different styles of parenting. I wonder all the time why moms and dads can let thier children cry, deny them basic needs like food by setting up a scheduled feeding plan (i.e. conditioning a child sleep through the night prematurely), or how can moms go back to work?!

I can't imagine doing it. That being said, I know they have to - go back to work, that is. I'm just saying It would be too hard for me to be able to not only leave my daughter in someone else's care, but to also try to pull myself away from her day after day.

I love being a stay-at-home, attached, co-sleeping, cloth diapering, mommy who always answers my child's needs. One of the wonderful things about answering your baby when they cry is that they never really cry. Ava knows when she needs something, all she has to do is whine. Some may say that they don't like whining, but I dislike hearing her cry even more. And at least she trusts me enough to know that I will figure out what is wrong. Like before Mike and I go to bed, we put her in her crib for safety and do whatever we do until I go to bed. Then she spends the rest of the night with me so that Mike can get some good sleep since he works. But it's those times that she is alone in her crib that I try to give her all the comforting she needs when she needs it.

It's the little things I love about answering my daughter's cries at night. The way she immediately feels safe and puts her heavy little head on my shoulder. The comfort of her arm wrapped securely around my neck. Her tiny fingers softly caressing my hair as she drifts back to sleep forgetting whatever made her wake up and cry in the first place. Sometimes I wonder who is comforting whom.

Or there's the times when she whines for me and wants to eat. Those are some of the best moments together. When she needs me for something completely instinctual, that is when we are at our best. I love it when she drapes her arm across her face as she cuddles close to me. Sometimes all she needs is the reassurance at the breast that everything is ok. I often wonder if she had a bad dream or just needed to know I was there. Perhaps it is something I've forgotten; the need to be softly nursed back to sleep, the knowledge of someone who is pure safety holding you close and warm. Or perhaps not. Maybe that is why so many of us have problems sleeping. We miss our mommies.

Rising Above the Little Things

Time to write down my new year's resolutions. I haven't been looking forward to putting them in writing but I read that if you put them in writing you are more likely to try to keep them. So here goes...

Things I am trying to do better:

1.) Try to eat dinner at the dinner table as a family at least 4 times a week. (Which means making dinner just as often.)

2.) Try to be more organized including; cleaning the house, staying on track with my to do list for the month, bringing Ava to the playgroup once a week, getting Ava to bed on time, getting rid of the old junk we don't use, and anything else that helps my life go more smoothly.

3.) Going to all cloth diapers with just the occasional disposable as needed.

4.) Help Mike study for the GRE in an effort to get him back in school.

5.) Giving my blog the attention it needs more often and staying up-to-date on it. I plan to make this into a book for Ava someday and it is important that I don't miss anything.

6.) Being more positive.

7.) Practicing positive discipline for Ava and helping her to become a well rounded child and never losing my temper.

8.) Excercise more and eat less... lose weight.

9.) Spend quality time with my husband EVERY day.

10.) Take some time for myself every now and then to work on projects, paint my toenails, or just read.

11.) Being a more confident mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I have been unsure of the decisions I've made most of my life. This year I will be resolute in the things I have decided.

12.) Getting started in classes to finish my degree.

Here's to letting the little things go and focusing on the really important stuff.

Growing up... Ava, and me too!

Well, this picture is proof that I don't have a little baby anymore. She is growing up so fast! Monday she weighed 21 lbs. 4.5 oz. We went to Walmart that day and I had her in the sling the whole hour or so that we were there and so many people tried to talk to her. She really attracts a lot of attention (unwanted by her!). She gets so nervous when people talk to her. She looks at me to see if it's ok. People want to talk to her a lot because she looks mad or upset most of the time. It's really that she's thinking really hard.

Today I realized that Ava knows what the sign for milk means. She would only sign it when she was hungry but still only when I asked her to. Kind of nice to know she can kind-of communicate with me like that. We are still working on eat, drink, diaper, more, dog, cat, mommy, and daddy.

I had to teach Ava how to drink from a sippy cup while she was sick. She used to just teethe on them but transitioning from a bottle to a sippy in just a few days has helped her figure out how it works. It's nice my mom got us these pink ones. Also, she got us a bunch of BumGenius cloth diapers. Very chic! I have been using 6 and washing them pretty quickly and now we have 12 more en-route. I am so excited to have some more and start using them full-time, all the time.

So, I'm also feeling a little nostalgic. Mike and I just looked back at the pictures posted on here listening to the song that I put up, Evanescence: "Anywhere." It felt good but also made me a little sad thinking about not being able to adopt Abigail. I know everything happens for a reason, but that has been really hard to get over. I want Ava to have a sibling. I have had one for as long as I can remember. Dave and I have always been close. I don't want Ava to miss out on that special relationship. I'm letting my body and Ava decide when we are ready to have another baby but both Mike and I are ready for whoever is coming next. I hate that other people think we don't know what we are doing when we say we want more kids already. It was really hard to share that we were thinking of adopting because I was scared we'd get no support. And we didn't really get much, which sort of proves my fears.

Anyway, enough of that. It's a bit depressing. Ava seems like she would benefit from having a sibling, and it feels right to everyone so we'll see what happens and when. I finally feel like enough of an adult to stand up for my feelings about it.

So here we all are sitting at the dinner table, finally. This is our first family meal at the table. It's our goal to eat dinner here at least 4 times a week. Now that Ava seems to be liking finger foods and we have a table! we can work on having quality family time at the dinner table. It's important.

My mom had a good idea, to eventually get these posts made into a book. Maybe that will keep me writing more often. What a fun idea!

Well, it's been a little while since I posted anything. I guess I have put it off because posting pictures on this thing is so not user-friendly and usually Ava is in my hair all day which makes taking the time to do it really hard. She is mobile now and nothing withing reach is safe. She is pulling herself up to standing and cruising the couches. She goes into the kitchen and pulls herself up on everything in view! I also have to watch her carefully because she goes into the pantry and eats the cat food. So gross. She still hollers when I leave the room though even though now she can follow me. Her separation anxiety is really bad. I couldn't even teach at church today without holding her the whole time.

Ava has been a little sick this month. She had a fever (101-103.3) for a couple of days going down during the day. It didn't seem right so I took her to the doctor and it turned out that the NP thought she had a UTI. After culturing the throat swab she determined that she had a strep infection and that caused a rash to break out on her for a few hours. She might also have a UTI but I hope not. We're waiting to hear back on that one.

I have been feeling kind of lost lately. I miss my family and have been having a hard time making friends here. I have felt like I'm missing my purpose. I'm trying really hard to do the right thing.

We have been making some tough decisions lately that I can't really go into details about right now, but suffice it to say that hopefully some big changes are on the way.

So, I'm not going to promise to update the blog more often because I think I'm going to move back to writing in a real journal instead and updating this a couple of times a month, but I only have a couple of people who look at it so I guess it's ok. I know that would be more important for Ava later down the line to have a tangible record of her life and what has been important to me.

Merry Christmas!

(Sleeping off the excitement on Christmas day...)

Help! We're being overrun by presents! Ava's Nana, Uncle David, and Auntie Tara (TaTa) outdid themselves again this year. Ava has a ton of new presents. She loves her new toys and they are mostly learning toys so I guess they are ok. :)

She LOVES this rocking Mickey. She tries to rock on it by herself which is so cute. She can't get the back and forth momentum but she wiggles to try to go and it's so funny.

Nope, that's not a black eye, that's her make-up... haha!

This is what Ava's uncle's girlfriend, Bonny, got us. I LOVE this. It is perfect for getting the breastfeeding message out there and how cute is Ava in it?!

Nana's present. After I unpacked it Ava crawled over and pulled herself up to play with it. How fun!

A Jenny-Jump-Up from Uncle DayDay (David) and Bonny. We put this in the kitchen in front of the washer and dryer and put some magnet shape toys on the dryer. Ava really likes to push the magnets around and play with the shapes. It's nice for her to be in there with me when I'm cooking or Mike is doing the dishes. ;)

Let it Snow!

Wow, December is such a busy month. Ava is crawling and getting into way too many things! The other day she pulled a fairy house made of wood onto her head and gave herself a little scratch. It seems like she is always falling over and bumping her head on the floor, the tub, the table... etc. I'm glad babies are invincible! But she cries so badly when it happens I feel so bad.

Now she has a cold too. It is a pretty bad one. She can hardly breathe. At least she has figured out how to breathe through her mouth sometimes. It's when she sleeps and eats that it gets annoying. Last night she had a high temperature of 99.8 and I'm sure she didn't feel very good. She wouldn't let me put her down. We tried to give her a bath and she wasn't liking that so she cried until we got her jammies on and I nursed her to sleep. Once she finally got to sleep she whined a little bit until she fell into a deep sleep. My bladder was so full I couldn't lie with her anymore so I tried to put her down but that just upset her again. I had to hold her all night, poor thing. Her fever broke at around 3:00 in the morning. She seemed much happier today. I hate it when she is sick. Mike hates it when she smiles all sweetly when we know she doesn't feel good. It breaks his heart. Mine too.

She had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today to get her shots but I couldn't see doing that because if she had a reaction I wouldn't know if it was the shot or her cold. She weighed 20.9 lbs and was 27 1/2 inches long. She is still over the 95th percentile which makes us all feel great! Ava's first Christmas is coming up quickly and I still have a lot to do...

Busy Baby... Busy Days... Sleepy Nights

Seriously? It's been that long since I've posted?

Well, here is what has been going on in our little world...

Ava is so happy and healthy. She hit the 20 lb mark finally. We have both figured out how breastfeeding works. She is crawling and playing all the time. She gets one exciting (non-milk) meal a day including some of her favorite foods. Pears, avacados, bananas, and sweet potatoes top her list. She has been sleeping a little better the past week, skipping the 3:00 am feeding and sleeping right on 'til 5! Yay for mommy! :)

We spent Thanksgiving day with the Hilliards in Branson ending with dinner and a show at Dixie Stampede. We all had so much fun there. Ava slept through the first part of the show but then she watched the end and was so excited to see the horses running around. Below is one of the pictures Tara took of us while we were there. We came back home and on Saturday I made dinner and all the fixin's for everyone. That was a really fun day. We played games until midnight!



The other big thing that happened last week is that Ava turned 6 months old! It surprises me to think that this picture (below) was her 6 whole months ago. It feels like a lifetime in a moment. I was holding a little baby who was 3 months old and 10 lbs the other night and I could hardly remember Ava being so tiny.


Blast to the past right?

In other news... I am positive that Ava is an advanced baby. I may be biased because of course I think she is amazing, but she is ahead on all of her milestones. She is crawling now which is great as I read that big babies sometimes crawl later due to their chunkiness. Her crawling is still like army crawls but she does get up on all fours and rock back and forth and has taken a few tentative forward scoots using her hands but soon topples over because the back legs don't work when she wants them to. She is waving hi and bye bye and used to say "buh-buh" for bye bye but hasn't done it in a while. She has been saying "Da Da" for a few weeks now and associates it with daddy. If I say, "where's Da Da?" She looks around for him and says "Da Da, Da Da..." She also practices Da Da all day along with screaming bloody murder. She thinks it's funny to scream at the top of her lungs which delights people that call during the day.

The greatest of all things that she has done recently is that she signed milk to me yesterday. I was feeding her and she was kind of playing as she ate and so I signed "milk" and she held up her little hand and squeezed it. I praised her and called Mike in the room and asked her to do it again and she did it on cue. He then showed her the sign and asked her to do it and she did it for him too! I have never been so proud. Now I know how smart she is. I didn't expect her to mimic me or even to understand the signs until she was at least 7 months so this gives me great hope for what we can accomplish together.

Ava's First Visit to Santa

Here's the poor gator that was stuck in this small pool in Bass Pro. I didn't care a whole lot for how small his home was. It seemed a bit unfair.


Ava saw Santa for her first time! Luckily he had a REAL-ly strong beard (if you get my meaning - wink) as Ava had her little vice-grips in his hair. We all wondered if she would cry when she saw him but she was really intrigued by him! She didn't seem upset at all.

There was a big teddy bear with a bin full of stuffed animals and I thought it would be funny to put Ava in it and she looked so cute!

This tree was just beautiful all decked out hunter-style. The kids love Bass Pro because it reminds them of thier Big Daddy. This time of year is hard for us all. We mss him a lot.

Mike and I were playing with Ava last night and she was so happy. We all laughed for an hour or so! We were playing music and dancing and we tuckered her out. She slept really great last night.

As gross as this looks... Ava LOVES prunes! This is the most excited she has been about food since bananas. The other day I was eating a banana and she saw me and started begging for it so I let her take a few bites and she ate a third of it! She is really loving this eating business.

Yesterday at church Ava saw her friend Andrew. That kid can CRAWL! He's a real wiz at crawling. It was so funny, we put them on the floor together and Andrew kept crawling forward and Ava was scooting backward. Maybe I will get the pictures from Karen soon and I can post them. Too cute those kids...

Looking Forward to Thanksgiving!

What am I thankful for?

I am so thankful for healthy baby foods and a healthy baby!

Over the past few days, Ava has been happy and healthy, playing well and exploring her world. She is taking naps a lot easier and is just a real joy to be around! She now weighs 19.03 lbs. I, on the other hand, must have a cold or something because I feel a little run down and overall icky. Hopefully Ava doesn't catch it.

In new news, Ava is going to start eating rice cereal tomorrow. She has tried and loved almost all the foods I have introduced her to but she is still breastfeeding for all of her meals. She didn't like peas at all, but then again, I don't like peas either. Yuck.

I hope that by introducing cereal, she will realize that eating real food is often just as good as milk. But if she isn't ready I'm not going to push the issue. She will let me know when milk isn't cutting it. But I have a feeling it isn't holding her over because she wakes up every 3 hours for an actual feeding. She gets pretty mad when my letdown is too slow so I think that time is nearing. Today she ate 1/3 of a banana for lunch and then ate an entire milk meal too! Maybe this will hold her over for a while.

Also, in addition to learning "byebye," Ava taught herself how to wave "hello" too. At our Relief Society party tuesday, Ava suddenly waved to the ladies who were saying hello. She's such a smarty. And today she created a new game. Mike made kissy noises at her and with her pacifier in her mouth she sucked and made a kissing noise everytime Mike said, "give daddy a kiss, muah!" We recorded it but I'm not sure how to share it without first putting it on YouTube.

Peas Please?!

Well, my dinner was absolutely de-lish! (If I can toot my own spatula!) Nana Hilliard and the kids came over and Preston got seconds! He even ate more of the butternut squash! Now I have to come up with some ideas for Tuesday. Relief Society is getting together to do holiday activities and we are supposed to bring appetizers. I will probably make artichoke dip and something else. Any ideas?

Ava in her temple whites? This is what she wore to church minus the dress. She just looked so pretty in white I couldn't help but dream about her future!

Ava likes her dad's (yes that's right, this toy is 26 years old!) squeaky elephant teether.

Well, Ava has officially explored the world of - yech, peas. They ended up on her shirt, her face, her chair, and of course, mommy... as she blew raspberries with a mouth full of peas. Ew...

Ava can also (officially) wave bye-bye and say "buhbuh" when she does it. I was giving it a little time to see if it was really something she had learned and sure enough, she has it down. However, today she wouldn't do it at church because too much was going on. She did it for daddy when we said "nightnight" to him though!

Ava made this new face the whole time we were trying to get her to try to smile at the picture place. This is apparently similar to biting her lip to help figure things out. This is what she was doing when daddy was playing with the cat. She still can't figure out what Momo is and absolutely breaks her neck to see him if he miaows. See the lovely peas all over her shirt? I doubt she got any in her tummy... so funny!

Keep on Keepin' on...

Do you ever feel like you're getting in control of your to-do list?

I have a sink full of dishes to do, vaccuming, washing and putting away laundry and the rest can wait 'til tomorrow because tonight is the night that Mike and I celebrate him getting a full-time job (with benefits!). I'm making bar-b-que chicken and pineapple kabobs on the grill, roasted red potatoes, savory butternut squash and bean side dish, and of course homemade mac-n-cheese (the totally fattening kind) because it's Mike's favorite. Sounds amazing! I hope it turns out as good as it sounds.

So far today I have made it to the post office to get one of Mike's Ebay sales out and I had a small victory today. I took Ava to get her 5 month pictures. As she's now 5 1/2 months that is a little hooray for me to finally get that done.

Here are some pics...

Ava eating some store bought (Grandma Aase's corn face - mom) pears.

Ava reading. This is what she was doing when I went to get her after a nap the other day!

Momo isn't sure what he thinks of Ava yet. But she sure loves him.

Look at the hilarious outfit Shawny picked out the other day when I was at Linda's. She looks like a flower child!

Anyway, I am really excited for Thanksgiving. I have been watching Food Network nonstop (almost - whenever Ava is sleeping and I have "me time"). I invited the Hilliard's (Dave, Linda, Tara, Preston, Shawny, and Hunter - and Bonny Hill) over for Thanksgiving dinner this year. Linda doesn't want to mess with it so she usually takes everyone to Branson to Dixie Stampede but before that, like maybe a couple days before, I am going all out! Whew... hope I'm ready for all that. I love to cook though so it will be so much fun.

I'm turning into my stepmother, she always used to make a HUGE spread for the holidays and here I am continuing that tradition. I love this time of year!