An Ever-So-Ordinary Day In Our Life...

7:45am :: After lying in bed for a few extra minutes, we all get up. Ava goes pee pee by herself. Mommy turns on the TV and Ava turns on Netflix by herself. Lately, her favorite show is My Big Big Friend.  Mommy changes Zoey’s diaper. Then we all eat some breakfast. Today, that is zucchini banana flax muffins.

8:30am :: Ava decides that she wants to watch Dumbo while I get the girls dressed and putz around closing windows since it is getting warm, putting Hammy out to pee, cleaning here and there, and doing some laundry.

9:30am :: The girls eat a popsicle (what else is summer for?!)  Zoey has her first mommy-milksicle and likes it! 

Then they play together for a little while. Meaning…Ava plays (practices writing her name) while Zoey tries to grab any part of her, mostly hair. 

10:00am :: Zoey falls asleep in the wrap. After I ease her out onto the bed still sleeping, Mommy gets a much-needed shower while Ava plays by herself.

10:30am :: Ava and Mommy have a snack together. Leftovers for Mommy and (by request) another muffin for Ava. Zoey is still sleeping.

11:00am :: Pack lunch. Nurse Zoey. Then we head to our friends' house to play.

12:00pm :: Still playing at our friends' house.

1:00pm :: Still playing. Zoey sleeps. Then we eat some lunch outside. I got so hungry I forgot to take a picture. We had turkey and cheese sandwiches, plums, and a cookie each. Ava didn’t eat her bread, or plum. After lunch we play outside for a little while swinging in the hammock and the chair, and running in the grass.

2:00pm :: Discover tiny bird nest with baby birds (can’t see them in the picture… darn!). And then we go back inside to clean up and leave. Ava doesn’t want to leave.

3:10pm :: Go home.  Late nap. Ava falls asleep while softly stroking Zoey’s hair while Zoey nurses. Zoey falls asleep a few minutes later. Mommy gets a nice long nap too.

5:15pm :: Ava wakes up. Mike’s been home for about half an hour now. (Ava goes right for his iPhone.) This isn’t our usual naptime but he’s let us sleep and has been talking to his mom.

5:30pm :: Zoey wakes up. Mommy starts working on dinner while Daddy plays with the girls.

6:30 pm :: Dinner; breakfast hash of sorts. Sausage, rice, peppers, tomatoes, and my last 2 eggs… wrapped up.

7:00pm :: It's Wednesday, so Daddy takes Ava to Young Mens’ weekly meeting at church since Ava really wants to go with him. She poses for a quick picture before running out the door with Daddy. Mommy has alone time with Zoey. Cue fussy time.

7:45pm :: Zoey finally eats her dinner and goes to sleep… whew! Mommy settles in to watch “No Impact Man: The Documentary” Daddy and Ava return moments later. Mommy loses the TV. 

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No Impact Man: The Documentary

9:00pm :: Ava chooses to have a shower instead of a bath tonight. Time for her to settle in and watch a show before bed. Usually she’s supposed to be asleep by 9:30 but tonight we’re feeling a bit lenient since naptime was later than usual. No more pictures after this since my camera batteries died. Of course...

9:45pm :: Landlord comes to visit, chatting with Daddy outside. We inform him that we will be moving in about a month (yay!). Mommy goes inside and lies down with Ava to put her to bed, nurses Zoey while she’s at it. Ava is asleep in 15 minutes. Zoey is still sleeping. Mommy and Daddy settle in to watch Law and Order SVU and relax.

11:30pm :: Bedtime for Mommy and Daddy.

12:15am :: Mommy stays up writing this blog post. Oops! :) I hope you've enjoyed seeing what a boring 'ol day looks like around here.

I got this idea from Baby Rabies when she did an ordinary day post a while back.

Sleep With Your Babies...

Some of the best advice I can give to new moms (and dads) is this...

Sleep. Sleep with your babies.

At some point all children fight naps. And it may seem easier to throw in the towel, avoiding arguments, or be more convenient to do chores. But one day you will open your eyes. The cool summer breeze will be blowing back the curtains, an animal will be curled at your feet. Sometimes dog. Sometimes cat. You'll see your three year old, long, skinny arms and legs, tangled in the blankets. You'll free her gently and she'll sigh as you brush her damp hair off of her forehead. You'll wonder when she magically changed from baby to child. Then the baby beside you will stir. Fat, dimpled arms and bowtie lips reaching for mommy. You'll snuggle her closer trying to get those last 15 minutes of the calmest peace. Her eyes will open for just a second. Seeing you, they'll close and she'll easily fall back to sleep. When you see the dreaming smile cross her lips, gone in but a moment, you'll feel so special knowing that that fleeting moment was captured by you alone. You won't be able to sleep because this moment is too perfect. You'll inhale the air, feel the soft rise and fall of their gentle breathing, try as hard as you can to burn this perfect image into your memory.

As your babies sleep, whether you close your eyes and sleep with them, or just slow down and breathe in this moment. Lie with them. Remember that it is gone too soon. Time will take these babies from you. Enjoy naptime. Sleep with your babies. They may not remember it. But you will. Dream. And forget the world.

I have been thinking a lot lately about mindfulness, connectedness, and finding and enjoying the special little moments in the hectic life of parenting small children. I lie down to nap with my kids just about every day. Naptime is sacred here. Sleep is sacred. To read more about finding spirituality in parenting, see Molly's (Talk Birth) article on breastfeeding and parenting as a spiritual practice here. She does an amazing job of describing it in a way that I often can't.

What Are We Up To Lately?

Zoey is 5 months old!

She's perfect and amazing and wonderfully funny.

She's beautiful and smart.

She's just like Ava and not. She's ZOEY!

Zoey is grabbing food from me now. She wants to eat so badly. I have been able to keep the food from her so far, until one night I needed a banana for some leg cramps and she snagged it from me and wouldn't let go! She chowed down on it for a little while until she got tired and wanted to go to bed. She is sleeping well now and doesn't fight it as often. She will often play until her head starts to droop and without a peep, she's asleep! Funny girl. She's easy going. It's a very nice change from having a high needs baby first. I'm glad I had Zoey second so that I was expecting a firecracker like Ava and got a cool breeze in Zoey. :)

Zoey is a very chill baby.

Sister Love

Spending time with Daddy at Tiber Dam

Ava's 3rd birthday/pool party was a hit. Zoey swam for the first time! She loved it! Ava swam for the first time without help.

Since its summer we've been trying to get outside more and play in the water (or mud). On days like this though, rainy-hot-cloudy-wet, cloud dough (8 cups flour to 1 cup baby oil... easy!) will suffice. As I write this, we're going on 2 hours of constant play with/in his bin and she's having SO much fun!

Hammy is 8 months old

And Mommy got a new cut and color. A nice change. When I was coloring it (myself - and messed it up, and had to get it fixed at the hairdresser) Ava came over to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "Coloring my hair." And she cried, "Oh NO! You're not going to be a mommy anymore!" She was really upset. I told her I'll always be her mommy, no matter what color my hair is. We had a nice snuggle and then everything was better. Zoey didn't bat an eyelash. To her, I'm sure, I still smell the same, and that's all that matters to my little nursling.

We'll be moving soon due to the basement flood. The damage it did is unsalvageable and the landlord will need to do something about it (which likely means moving the house onto a new foundation... which means move for us.) Updates on that soon enough. First we have to find a place. I'm not looking forward to moving again. Do what you have to do, though, I guess.

20 Weeks of Baby and a Flood

Who is this wonderful little person and how did I get so lucky?

Zoey is 20 weeks old now. She's an amazing baby. She sleeps well and often, most of the time without needing to nurse to sleep. She doesn't cry much, but she sure can yell! She's sitting up for a few seconds on her own and rolled from back to front and front to back yesterday for the first time.

We still nurse exclusively and on demand (though she's getting more and more eager to steal my food). We did hit a road block there for a little while when she fought against me while nursing. Whether it was discomfort from overactive letdown, her disliking any position other than lying down, me feeding her too often, or something else I haven't determined. But the fix was to wait a couple of hours (more or less) before I offered and trying something other than feeding to meet her needs first. She eventually learned that nursing could be pleasant and eats with gusto now. It only took a couple of weeks to sort it all out and now we're back to not paying any attention to the clock. Though I still feel that scheduled feedings are for the birds, (not literally, birds like babies should get to eat when they're hungry!) doing this broke the vicious cycle of back-arching, screaming, sputtering, and puking, and made me feel like my baby likes me again.

Ava is still loving her sister and being super helpful. She takes her (self appointed) job of throwing away Zoey's diapers very seriously. This morning, as I was having my morning pee, Ava ran into the bedroom yelling, "Mom, Zoey NEEDS us!!" :) Zoey loves Ava so much. She has a special yell that she does when she wants Ava. It sounds like. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"

I hope they'll be best friends for life.

The girls have been really good lately, even through our major disaster. In 30 minutes, 3 feet of water poured down the walls and through the windows into our basement soaking 1/3 of our belongings and ruining most of it. Even the things we had stored a foot off the ground and stacked were just picked up by the rising water and dumped over. Poor Mike held the deep freezer as it floated and had to just watch everything topple into the water around him. We've salvaged some things (Mike's missionary journal, the deep freezer, some pictures, Mike's basketball cards, hopefully my wedding dress - still at the cleaners, so we'll see) but others were completely lost and had to be thrown away. We've learned a lot and managed to keep our faith and spirits up. We've seen many blessings come from this disaster. It's not only strengthened us, but it's also helped us to let go of a lot of things... not just physical things, but emotional things too. We feel stronger due to our loss. I know 5 years ago this would have broken us. It's amazing what the last 5 years have taught us about coping with loss, dealing with trials, and moving past heartache. I guess when you have something huge happen every 6 months you learn to just deal. All of this was caused by 2 hours of rain backing up in the street and going all the way past the curb up to our house. It would never have happened if the city had cleaned out the drain on that street. Our landlord has been awesome. He feels really bad that this happened and has helped us clean up and has been here a lot to help deal with little problems that arise. He even invited us over to his store the next night for some free ice cream, much to Ava's delight.

Ava was pretty shaken by all the change. She's doesn't like chaos. She was just headed to bed when all this happened Monday night and was really worried about me. I was crying pretty hard not knowing what would be ruined and what we'd do in the following days. My mom talked to Ava for a while while I sorted out calling people to help. She told me that Ava was relieved a bit when she knew people were coming to help. I sent her to a friend's house the next day so she would be safe and well taken care of while we sorted through the mess. That night and the following few days she was super clingy and acting out a lot. She pushed our buttons a lot and was being overly physical, trying to kick or push or poke someone all the time. I think she was trying to let us know that she was internally in turmoil and needed some normalcy. We stayed in the motel for a few days thanks to some very kind friends but as soon as we could go home again and get back in our routine, Ava got back to her normal, sweet self. Thank goodness.

We're still dealing with the aftermath. Boxes and bins still need to be sorted through and put somewhere. There are a lot of things that need to be washed and cleaned. Thankfully, the clothes (about 15 bins full of baby clothes and a lot of our clothes too) were all washed and dried the next day by those very awesome friends of ours. They are being stored at the motel until I can sort through them (again). The basement stinks. I'm afraid that mold and mildew are growing since it has rained every day since. We can't clean up at all since our landlord's insurance adjuster is taking his sweet time to get here. He's supposed to come Thursday. Last night I could smell the basement coming through the hole in the closet in our room. I'm feeling asthmatic. We're going to have to come up with an immediate solution or this house won't be safe for the kids. I hope it gets cleaned up soon. I don't want to move again, but if that's what we have to do to stay healthy we will.

The Best Three Years

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the world. she can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves yet just when you open your mouth she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot. ~Alan Beck

Ava Veronica, Born May 30, 2009

My little girl turned 3 yesterday. When did this happen? When did she go from toothless, gummy, cooing, infant to this beautiful, smart, helpful, sensitive, artistic, amazing little child? It happens so fast, let me tell you!

Ava at 1 year old enjoying her birthday cake

Ava at 2 years old

An artist hard at work!

And suddenly, one day, she is a person. A little bit of me and a little bit of Mike. A mini-us. She surprises us all the time with how clever she can be. Like just the other day she started reading two letter words. She draws people complete with faces, ears, hair, arms, legs, and ties sometimes! And she can manage easy math problems with a little help.

Ava and her best buddy Hammy

Ava made me a mother. From the moment that they placed that tiny (big!) baby on my chest I knew that I would do anything for her. I could handle anything that came my way, for her. I have never understood people wanting a break from ther children. I could spend the rest of my life with this person. I chose to have her and she is my gift, my greatest blessing. She is my first, always. Through her I learned how to mother. A friend of mine said that the first is a "trial by fire." I can say it no better. Ava taught me to hold my baby for she will be big too soon. Always bigger, but never too big for mama's lap. She taught me to sleep close to her, to nourish her with all that I have, to follow her cues, for she often knows better than I do what she needs. She taught me to just cry, to laugh at everything, and to enjoy the little things like buds on the trees and tiny ants crawling into their holes.

She taught me that it's ok to make mistakes!

She taught me that I am enough; enough for her, and that's all that matters.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

 Me and my mini-me :)

Happy birthday beautiful girl! I'm so glad you're mine.

Zoey Anne's Birth Story

Monday morning (Jan 23), my mom, Ava and I went in to the doctor for my 41 week appointment. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on for weeks. Some days I would feel like, “today will be the day.” And then everything would stop. I had been losing bits of mucous plug for a few days. When the OB checked me and I hadn’t changed from being 3 cm and 50% effaced (baby still at -3 station) since the last Monday, I couldn’t help but feel totally discouraged. After lots of walking and doing what I thought I should be to move things along, even the slightest change would have been enough to keep me going. But at that point I lost my forward momentum and felt like we needed some help. I talked to Michele (my OB) about induction by Pitocin and, trusting her opinion, I called Mike and together he backed me up and we decided that we would try it. I was really nervous making that decision, because if anything went wrong it was all on me. I tried to get my mom to put on her medical hat and tell me what she would do but she said she needed to be “mom” now and just support whatever decision I needed to make. I realized, ultimately, it was my choice to make and I couldn’t push that onto anyone else.

Michele said we could start right away and we went over to the labor room to get started. Six hours later with the pit up to 30 mL/hr, smiling and laughing through near painless contractions that were coming every 2-3 mins and lasting for about a minute, Michele decided to let us go home since I still hadn’t changed. She thought it would be cruel to make me go for 6 more hours just to send us home at 1am or do a C-section after all that. Mike and my stepdad had come by then so we were all there just waiting. With my water still intact, though bulging, we hadn’t passed the point of no return, so she suggested I walk a bit, get a huge dinner, and get a good night’s sleep and we’d start fresh in the morning. She thought I might even go into spontaneous labor that night. We had dinner at Pizza Hut and then went home for an early night.

That night I slept great and had no noticeable contractions. After some very serious prayer I felt that getting some help from pitocin would be the right choice no matter what happened. However my baby came to me would be the right way. We got to the hospital a little after 7 am and I was ready for whatever came, peaceful and calm, ready to do my part.

At 8:43 am the nurses had me all hooked up and started the pit at 6 mL/hr. By 11:15 they had the pit up to 24 mL/hr. I was dilated to 4 cm and 75% effaced, baby still high. Contractions were still somewhat mild and coming every 3 mins and lasting for about a minute. I was getting nervous and even told my mom I was hoping for the pain to start since pain would mean progress. I started leaking a tiny bit of fluid. At noon Michelle broke my water. It was crazy! With Ava I had a high break and my water trickled out each time I went to the bathroom. I didn’t even notice. This time it was huge! I had no idea there was that much fluid! The following contractions were totally different. The pain had started. I had cramping down low in my tummy, and no back pain, thankfully. The only way to work through them was to close my eyes, grab the bedrail and moan and breathe through the pain. At 2:10, I was 5 cm. They turned the pit off.

The next few hours are a blur. I tried to labor on my hands and knees and the pain felt worse. I tried lying on my sides and it became really pinchy. The only position I felt comfortable in was on my back so I stayed there. I remember focusing on resting between contractions, going limp. I had my eyes shut for most of this time, either concentrating through contractions or resting between them. At one point I felt I didn’t have the energy to continue and asked for the epidural. The nurse went to tell the anesthesiologist and luckily he took too long getting to me and I found more strength and told the nurse to cancel it. One nurse was making us all mad and kept telling me I could still get the epidural. Mike told her to stop asking a few times. A little while later I asked for something for the pain so I could rest a little. They said Stadol would help with the pain for about an hour and I agreed to get it. They stuck it in my thigh, and I was looking forward to some relief but it did absolutely nothing!

I somehow found more strength and made it those last couple of hours. I was so HOT. I asked for a fan and that helped a lot. My mom kept wiping my forehead with a cold washcloth and that was heaven. The nurse told me to tell her when I felt like I needed to start pushing. At some point the contractions got so bad I had to clench my stomach to make them feel better and I figured that was it so I told her to go get Michele, I was ready to push. It seemed like it took forever for her to get there. She was doing a circumcision, I think. When she came and checked me I was at a 10 cm but still had an anterior lip so, still told not to push. That was excruciating and my moaning got louder. I started feeling a little panicky then. When I saw her scrubbing up and getting ready to catch the baby I found a little more strength. At one point my mom asked me if I needed anything and I said, “I need someone else to do this.” Later we all thought that was funny. Michele got settled in and said I could push at 5:30 pm. Michele insisted that the fan be turned off then so that it wouldn’t chill the baby later but I was still SO hot. So Michele got a nurse to give my mom a clipboard to fan me. I really needed that. I know she was so sore later from fanning for that long, but it really helped.

The baby was still really high. I pushed for a while feeling like it wasn’t doing any good, and it wasn’t. I couldn’t get in a rhythm and I felt like my pushes were in the wrong place. My mom said later that Michele would check after each contraction and then look at her and shake her head. Baby wasn’t moving down. Mom said she was afraid then that c-section was next. Mike suggested that instead of me trying to hold my legs that they help me hold them so I could ball up better, and at the end of that contraction I felt something different in the push. It was like a reflex took over and I felt like it had done something. The next couple of contractions, I tried to find that again and had trouble. Then, the next one, I found it again. Everyone started telling me it was good and then I was able to stick with it. I’m not sure how long that went for but soon I felt the “ring of fire” everyone talks about and I couldn’t stop the pushing reflex anymore. Michele told me not to push until I had another contraction to help me but I couldn’t stop. I felt the waves of that “reflex-thing” just take me and I felt things give way and then the baby came gushing out. I learned later that that’s when I tore. It went right along the same place where I tore with Ava, and just as bad, another 2^nd-degree.

And suddenly, she was here!

Tues. Jan. 24, 6:32 pm: Michele put Zoey on my chest and they covered her with a warm blanket. I was crying, mom was crying. All I could think was, "She's here! She's so beautiful!"  She had her eyes wide open and was looking around. Michele went for the cord with a clamp and I said something like, “No, we’re waiting right?” She said, “Oh yeah, sorry.” Then she had a nurse start watching the clock. They ended up waiting about 5 minutes before clamping. When Mike cut it I watched to see if any blood spurted out and it didn’t. I didn’t see if the cord was pulsing anymore, I was too distracted! Zoey didn’t do a big cry at first until they started rubbing her to get her crying. I think it’s a lot due to her still being connected to the placenta and getting some oxygen through that. Because of her not crying right away, her first APGAR was 7. I asked for them to call Ava and my stepdad in from the waiting room. They came in before the placenta had come. Ava seemed a little nervous since I was still having some pretty intense contractions, so I was really glad she hadn’t been there for any of my loud moaning. Within a few moments Zoey  was licking and opening her mouth. I tried to latch her on to see if she would try and she opened her mouth really wide and latched on right away. It was amazing! It even surprised the Lactation Consultant nurse who had been standing there. She was on me for about an hour while Michele stitched me up. My tailbone hurt SO bad. I had been lying on it and rolling onto it with each contraction for hours now and having to lie still to be stitched up was terrible. Mike went with Zoey to the warmer after a while and then to the nursery to do their tests. I wanted to know how much she weighed and how long she was so we could start making phone calls. Then they moved me to the recovery room and we got all settled in. Mike came back with her and told me her stats. 8 lbs 5.4 oz. and 21 inches long (as long as Ava was but a full pound lighter!). 14 and 1/4 inch head. Then we settled down to nurse again with no trouble.

Everyone was invited in to welcome Zoey.

 

Stats; weight, length, head, chest.

First cries

I still can’t believe I did it. Looking back it’s like a dream. I was in another place, another plane of existence almost, nearly out-of-body. I could hear people talking, and later my mom was telling me things that people had been saying or what was going on around me and I had registered that those things were happening but they seemed unreal. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, but I did it. It’s so cool how a different part of you takes over, the birth-warrior. If I can do that, I can do anything. I’m so glad it’s over though. Zoey is so good. She’s the most laid back and content baby I’ve ever seen. She sleeps and nurses like a champ. Mike keeps asking if she’s ok. She’s so peaceful and already seems to be an old soul. I’m handling recovery much better this time. My whole body hurts from pushing. I have bruises on my forearms from bracing against the bedrails. And my tailbone is really sore. I feel like some nerves were messed up a bit as every now and then when going from standing to sitting I have this pounding pain in my backbone, almost like a migraine in my spine, going with my heartbeat. Every day feels better though. I lost a lot of blood somewhere along the line. My RBC count was 12.1 before I gave birth and got down to 7.4 at the lowest. That’s half of normal and I look very pale and sometimes feel pretty anemic. I lost 14 lbs of baby, placenta, fluid, blood, and whatnot. Feeling really good, though, aside from all that.

Mommy snuggles with the most precious girls in the world.

 

Footprints on my heart!

I wrote this 3 days after. Now, here it is one month later. I feel great! My tear is nearly healed. I have little to no pain most days - aside from headaches caused by too little sleep! Zoey is still a wonderful baby. She's discovered her voice lately and will shout for me, once. That's all it takes and she knows it. She's only really cried a few times and two of those were in the car. Like her sister, she doesn't like being in there for long.

I'm so excited for every new day with her and each day we learn something new about eachother. That's the wonder about newborns. There's so much to learn!