Sleep With Your Babies...

Some of the best advice I can give to new moms (and dads) is this...

Sleep. Sleep with your babies.

At some point all children fight naps. And it may seem easier to throw in the towel, avoiding arguments, or be more convenient to do chores. But one day you will open your eyes. The cool summer breeze will be blowing back the curtains, an animal will be curled at your feet. Sometimes dog. Sometimes cat. You'll see your three year old, long, skinny arms and legs, tangled in the blankets. You'll free her gently and she'll sigh as you brush her damp hair off of her forehead. You'll wonder when she magically changed from baby to child. Then the baby beside you will stir. Fat, dimpled arms and bowtie lips reaching for mommy. You'll snuggle her closer trying to get those last 15 minutes of the calmest peace. Her eyes will open for just a second. Seeing you, they'll close and she'll easily fall back to sleep. When you see the dreaming smile cross her lips, gone in but a moment, you'll feel so special knowing that that fleeting moment was captured by you alone. You won't be able to sleep because this moment is too perfect. You'll inhale the air, feel the soft rise and fall of their gentle breathing, try as hard as you can to burn this perfect image into your memory.

As your babies sleep, whether you close your eyes and sleep with them, or just slow down and breathe in this moment. Lie with them. Remember that it is gone too soon. Time will take these babies from you. Enjoy naptime. Sleep with your babies. They may not remember it. But you will. Dream. And forget the world.

I have been thinking a lot lately about mindfulness, connectedness, and finding and enjoying the special little moments in the hectic life of parenting small children. I lie down to nap with my kids just about every day. Naptime is sacred here. Sleep is sacred. To read more about finding spirituality in parenting, see Molly's (Talk Birth) article on breastfeeding and parenting as a spiritual practice here. She does an amazing job of describing it in a way that I often can't.

What Are We Up To Lately?

Zoey is 5 months old!

She's perfect and amazing and wonderfully funny.

She's beautiful and smart.

She's just like Ava and not. She's ZOEY!

Zoey is grabbing food from me now. She wants to eat so badly. I have been able to keep the food from her so far, until one night I needed a banana for some leg cramps and she snagged it from me and wouldn't let go! She chowed down on it for a little while until she got tired and wanted to go to bed. She is sleeping well now and doesn't fight it as often. She will often play until her head starts to droop and without a peep, she's asleep! Funny girl. She's easy going. It's a very nice change from having a high needs baby first. I'm glad I had Zoey second so that I was expecting a firecracker like Ava and got a cool breeze in Zoey. :)

Zoey is a very chill baby.

Sister Love

Spending time with Daddy at Tiber Dam

Ava's 3rd birthday/pool party was a hit. Zoey swam for the first time! She loved it! Ava swam for the first time without help.

Since its summer we've been trying to get outside more and play in the water (or mud). On days like this though, rainy-hot-cloudy-wet, cloud dough (8 cups flour to 1 cup baby oil... easy!) will suffice. As I write this, we're going on 2 hours of constant play with/in his bin and she's having SO much fun!

Hammy is 8 months old

And Mommy got a new cut and color. A nice change. When I was coloring it (myself - and messed it up, and had to get it fixed at the hairdresser) Ava came over to me and asked what I was doing. I said, "Coloring my hair." And she cried, "Oh NO! You're not going to be a mommy anymore!" She was really upset. I told her I'll always be her mommy, no matter what color my hair is. We had a nice snuggle and then everything was better. Zoey didn't bat an eyelash. To her, I'm sure, I still smell the same, and that's all that matters to my little nursling.

We'll be moving soon due to the basement flood. The damage it did is unsalvageable and the landlord will need to do something about it (which likely means moving the house onto a new foundation... which means move for us.) Updates on that soon enough. First we have to find a place. I'm not looking forward to moving again. Do what you have to do, though, I guess.

20 Weeks of Baby and a Flood

Who is this wonderful little person and how did I get so lucky?

Zoey is 20 weeks old now. She's an amazing baby. She sleeps well and often, most of the time without needing to nurse to sleep. She doesn't cry much, but she sure can yell! She's sitting up for a few seconds on her own and rolled from back to front and front to back yesterday for the first time.

We still nurse exclusively and on demand (though she's getting more and more eager to steal my food). We did hit a road block there for a little while when she fought against me while nursing. Whether it was discomfort from overactive letdown, her disliking any position other than lying down, me feeding her too often, or something else I haven't determined. But the fix was to wait a couple of hours (more or less) before I offered and trying something other than feeding to meet her needs first. She eventually learned that nursing could be pleasant and eats with gusto now. It only took a couple of weeks to sort it all out and now we're back to not paying any attention to the clock. Though I still feel that scheduled feedings are for the birds, (not literally, birds like babies should get to eat when they're hungry!) doing this broke the vicious cycle of back-arching, screaming, sputtering, and puking, and made me feel like my baby likes me again.

Ava is still loving her sister and being super helpful. She takes her (self appointed) job of throwing away Zoey's diapers very seriously. This morning, as I was having my morning pee, Ava ran into the bedroom yelling, "Mom, Zoey NEEDS us!!" :) Zoey loves Ava so much. She has a special yell that she does when she wants Ava. It sounds like. "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!"

I hope they'll be best friends for life.

The girls have been really good lately, even through our major disaster. In 30 minutes, 3 feet of water poured down the walls and through the windows into our basement soaking 1/3 of our belongings and ruining most of it. Even the things we had stored a foot off the ground and stacked were just picked up by the rising water and dumped over. Poor Mike held the deep freezer as it floated and had to just watch everything topple into the water around him. We've salvaged some things (Mike's missionary journal, the deep freezer, some pictures, Mike's basketball cards, hopefully my wedding dress - still at the cleaners, so we'll see) but others were completely lost and had to be thrown away. We've learned a lot and managed to keep our faith and spirits up. We've seen many blessings come from this disaster. It's not only strengthened us, but it's also helped us to let go of a lot of things... not just physical things, but emotional things too. We feel stronger due to our loss. I know 5 years ago this would have broken us. It's amazing what the last 5 years have taught us about coping with loss, dealing with trials, and moving past heartache. I guess when you have something huge happen every 6 months you learn to just deal. All of this was caused by 2 hours of rain backing up in the street and going all the way past the curb up to our house. It would never have happened if the city had cleaned out the drain on that street. Our landlord has been awesome. He feels really bad that this happened and has helped us clean up and has been here a lot to help deal with little problems that arise. He even invited us over to his store the next night for some free ice cream, much to Ava's delight.

Ava was pretty shaken by all the change. She's doesn't like chaos. She was just headed to bed when all this happened Monday night and was really worried about me. I was crying pretty hard not knowing what would be ruined and what we'd do in the following days. My mom talked to Ava for a while while I sorted out calling people to help. She told me that Ava was relieved a bit when she knew people were coming to help. I sent her to a friend's house the next day so she would be safe and well taken care of while we sorted through the mess. That night and the following few days she was super clingy and acting out a lot. She pushed our buttons a lot and was being overly physical, trying to kick or push or poke someone all the time. I think she was trying to let us know that she was internally in turmoil and needed some normalcy. We stayed in the motel for a few days thanks to some very kind friends but as soon as we could go home again and get back in our routine, Ava got back to her normal, sweet self. Thank goodness.

We're still dealing with the aftermath. Boxes and bins still need to be sorted through and put somewhere. There are a lot of things that need to be washed and cleaned. Thankfully, the clothes (about 15 bins full of baby clothes and a lot of our clothes too) were all washed and dried the next day by those very awesome friends of ours. They are being stored at the motel until I can sort through them (again). The basement stinks. I'm afraid that mold and mildew are growing since it has rained every day since. We can't clean up at all since our landlord's insurance adjuster is taking his sweet time to get here. He's supposed to come Thursday. Last night I could smell the basement coming through the hole in the closet in our room. I'm feeling asthmatic. We're going to have to come up with an immediate solution or this house won't be safe for the kids. I hope it gets cleaned up soon. I don't want to move again, but if that's what we have to do to stay healthy we will.

The Best Three Years

A little girl can be sweeter (and badder) oftener than anyone else in the world. she can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves yet just when you open your mouth she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot. ~Alan Beck

Ava Veronica, Born May 30, 2009

My little girl turned 3 yesterday. When did this happen? When did she go from toothless, gummy, cooing, infant to this beautiful, smart, helpful, sensitive, artistic, amazing little child? It happens so fast, let me tell you!

Ava at 1 year old enjoying her birthday cake

Ava at 2 years old

An artist hard at work!

And suddenly, one day, she is a person. A little bit of me and a little bit of Mike. A mini-us. She surprises us all the time with how clever she can be. Like just the other day she started reading two letter words. She draws people complete with faces, ears, hair, arms, legs, and ties sometimes! And she can manage easy math problems with a little help.

Ava and her best buddy Hammy

Ava made me a mother. From the moment that they placed that tiny (big!) baby on my chest I knew that I would do anything for her. I could handle anything that came my way, for her. I have never understood people wanting a break from ther children. I could spend the rest of my life with this person. I chose to have her and she is my gift, my greatest blessing. She is my first, always. Through her I learned how to mother. A friend of mine said that the first is a "trial by fire." I can say it no better. Ava taught me to hold my baby for she will be big too soon. Always bigger, but never too big for mama's lap. She taught me to sleep close to her, to nourish her with all that I have, to follow her cues, for she often knows better than I do what she needs. She taught me to just cry, to laugh at everything, and to enjoy the little things like buds on the trees and tiny ants crawling into their holes.

She taught me that it's ok to make mistakes!

She taught me that I am enough; enough for her, and that's all that matters.

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

 Me and my mini-me :)

Happy birthday beautiful girl! I'm so glad you're mine.

Zoey Anne's Birth Story

Monday morning (Jan 23), my mom, Ava and I went in to the doctor for my 41 week appointment. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions off and on for weeks. Some days I would feel like, “today will be the day.” And then everything would stop. I had been losing bits of mucous plug for a few days. When the OB checked me and I hadn’t changed from being 3 cm and 50% effaced (baby still at -3 station) since the last Monday, I couldn’t help but feel totally discouraged. After lots of walking and doing what I thought I should be to move things along, even the slightest change would have been enough to keep me going. But at that point I lost my forward momentum and felt like we needed some help. I talked to Michele (my OB) about induction by Pitocin and, trusting her opinion, I called Mike and together he backed me up and we decided that we would try it. I was really nervous making that decision, because if anything went wrong it was all on me. I tried to get my mom to put on her medical hat and tell me what she would do but she said she needed to be “mom” now and just support whatever decision I needed to make. I realized, ultimately, it was my choice to make and I couldn’t push that onto anyone else.

Michele said we could start right away and we went over to the labor room to get started. Six hours later with the pit up to 30 mL/hr, smiling and laughing through near painless contractions that were coming every 2-3 mins and lasting for about a minute, Michele decided to let us go home since I still hadn’t changed. She thought it would be cruel to make me go for 6 more hours just to send us home at 1am or do a C-section after all that. Mike and my stepdad had come by then so we were all there just waiting. With my water still intact, though bulging, we hadn’t passed the point of no return, so she suggested I walk a bit, get a huge dinner, and get a good night’s sleep and we’d start fresh in the morning. She thought I might even go into spontaneous labor that night. We had dinner at Pizza Hut and then went home for an early night.

That night I slept great and had no noticeable contractions. After some very serious prayer I felt that getting some help from pitocin would be the right choice no matter what happened. However my baby came to me would be the right way. We got to the hospital a little after 7 am and I was ready for whatever came, peaceful and calm, ready to do my part.

At 8:43 am the nurses had me all hooked up and started the pit at 6 mL/hr. By 11:15 they had the pit up to 24 mL/hr. I was dilated to 4 cm and 75% effaced, baby still high. Contractions were still somewhat mild and coming every 3 mins and lasting for about a minute. I was getting nervous and even told my mom I was hoping for the pain to start since pain would mean progress. I started leaking a tiny bit of fluid. At noon Michelle broke my water. It was crazy! With Ava I had a high break and my water trickled out each time I went to the bathroom. I didn’t even notice. This time it was huge! I had no idea there was that much fluid! The following contractions were totally different. The pain had started. I had cramping down low in my tummy, and no back pain, thankfully. The only way to work through them was to close my eyes, grab the bedrail and moan and breathe through the pain. At 2:10, I was 5 cm. They turned the pit off.

The next few hours are a blur. I tried to labor on my hands and knees and the pain felt worse. I tried lying on my sides and it became really pinchy. The only position I felt comfortable in was on my back so I stayed there. I remember focusing on resting between contractions, going limp. I had my eyes shut for most of this time, either concentrating through contractions or resting between them. At one point I felt I didn’t have the energy to continue and asked for the epidural. The nurse went to tell the anesthesiologist and luckily he took too long getting to me and I found more strength and told the nurse to cancel it. One nurse was making us all mad and kept telling me I could still get the epidural. Mike told her to stop asking a few times. A little while later I asked for something for the pain so I could rest a little. They said Stadol would help with the pain for about an hour and I agreed to get it. They stuck it in my thigh, and I was looking forward to some relief but it did absolutely nothing!

I somehow found more strength and made it those last couple of hours. I was so HOT. I asked for a fan and that helped a lot. My mom kept wiping my forehead with a cold washcloth and that was heaven. The nurse told me to tell her when I felt like I needed to start pushing. At some point the contractions got so bad I had to clench my stomach to make them feel better and I figured that was it so I told her to go get Michele, I was ready to push. It seemed like it took forever for her to get there. She was doing a circumcision, I think. When she came and checked me I was at a 10 cm but still had an anterior lip so, still told not to push. That was excruciating and my moaning got louder. I started feeling a little panicky then. When I saw her scrubbing up and getting ready to catch the baby I found a little more strength. At one point my mom asked me if I needed anything and I said, “I need someone else to do this.” Later we all thought that was funny. Michele got settled in and said I could push at 5:30 pm. Michele insisted that the fan be turned off then so that it wouldn’t chill the baby later but I was still SO hot. So Michele got a nurse to give my mom a clipboard to fan me. I really needed that. I know she was so sore later from fanning for that long, but it really helped.

The baby was still really high. I pushed for a while feeling like it wasn’t doing any good, and it wasn’t. I couldn’t get in a rhythm and I felt like my pushes were in the wrong place. My mom said later that Michele would check after each contraction and then look at her and shake her head. Baby wasn’t moving down. Mom said she was afraid then that c-section was next. Mike suggested that instead of me trying to hold my legs that they help me hold them so I could ball up better, and at the end of that contraction I felt something different in the push. It was like a reflex took over and I felt like it had done something. The next couple of contractions, I tried to find that again and had trouble. Then, the next one, I found it again. Everyone started telling me it was good and then I was able to stick with it. I’m not sure how long that went for but soon I felt the “ring of fire” everyone talks about and I couldn’t stop the pushing reflex anymore. Michele told me not to push until I had another contraction to help me but I couldn’t stop. I felt the waves of that “reflex-thing” just take me and I felt things give way and then the baby came gushing out. I learned later that that’s when I tore. It went right along the same place where I tore with Ava, and just as bad, another 2^nd-degree.

And suddenly, she was here!

Tues. Jan. 24, 6:32 pm: Michele put Zoey on my chest and they covered her with a warm blanket. I was crying, mom was crying. All I could think was, "She's here! She's so beautiful!"  She had her eyes wide open and was looking around. Michele went for the cord with a clamp and I said something like, “No, we’re waiting right?” She said, “Oh yeah, sorry.” Then she had a nurse start watching the clock. They ended up waiting about 5 minutes before clamping. When Mike cut it I watched to see if any blood spurted out and it didn’t. I didn’t see if the cord was pulsing anymore, I was too distracted! Zoey didn’t do a big cry at first until they started rubbing her to get her crying. I think it’s a lot due to her still being connected to the placenta and getting some oxygen through that. Because of her not crying right away, her first APGAR was 7. I asked for them to call Ava and my stepdad in from the waiting room. They came in before the placenta had come. Ava seemed a little nervous since I was still having some pretty intense contractions, so I was really glad she hadn’t been there for any of my loud moaning. Within a few moments Zoey  was licking and opening her mouth. I tried to latch her on to see if she would try and she opened her mouth really wide and latched on right away. It was amazing! It even surprised the Lactation Consultant nurse who had been standing there. She was on me for about an hour while Michele stitched me up. My tailbone hurt SO bad. I had been lying on it and rolling onto it with each contraction for hours now and having to lie still to be stitched up was terrible. Mike went with Zoey to the warmer after a while and then to the nursery to do their tests. I wanted to know how much she weighed and how long she was so we could start making phone calls. Then they moved me to the recovery room and we got all settled in. Mike came back with her and told me her stats. 8 lbs 5.4 oz. and 21 inches long (as long as Ava was but a full pound lighter!). 14 and 1/4 inch head. Then we settled down to nurse again with no trouble.

Everyone was invited in to welcome Zoey.

 

Stats; weight, length, head, chest.

First cries

I still can’t believe I did it. Looking back it’s like a dream. I was in another place, another plane of existence almost, nearly out-of-body. I could hear people talking, and later my mom was telling me things that people had been saying or what was going on around me and I had registered that those things were happening but they seemed unreal. It’s the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, but I did it. It’s so cool how a different part of you takes over, the birth-warrior. If I can do that, I can do anything. I’m so glad it’s over though. Zoey is so good. She’s the most laid back and content baby I’ve ever seen. She sleeps and nurses like a champ. Mike keeps asking if she’s ok. She’s so peaceful and already seems to be an old soul. I’m handling recovery much better this time. My whole body hurts from pushing. I have bruises on my forearms from bracing against the bedrails. And my tailbone is really sore. I feel like some nerves were messed up a bit as every now and then when going from standing to sitting I have this pounding pain in my backbone, almost like a migraine in my spine, going with my heartbeat. Every day feels better though. I lost a lot of blood somewhere along the line. My RBC count was 12.1 before I gave birth and got down to 7.4 at the lowest. That’s half of normal and I look very pale and sometimes feel pretty anemic. I lost 14 lbs of baby, placenta, fluid, blood, and whatnot. Feeling really good, though, aside from all that.

Mommy snuggles with the most precious girls in the world.

 

Footprints on my heart!

I wrote this 3 days after. Now, here it is one month later. I feel great! My tear is nearly healed. I have little to no pain most days - aside from headaches caused by too little sleep! Zoey is still a wonderful baby. She's discovered her voice lately and will shout for me, once. That's all it takes and she knows it. She's only really cried a few times and two of those were in the car. Like her sister, she doesn't like being in there for long.

I'm so excited for every new day with her and each day we learn something new about eachother. That's the wonder about newborns. There's so much to learn!

Update!

Here's Miss Ava 27 1/2 months old. She's a character and she knows it!

Our kiddo would do anything for a laugh! She's getting so big too! She wears 3T clothes and she's taller than all the kids around here who are older than her. She's a delight to be around. :)

And Ava's going to be a big sister. In case you hadn't heard, we are 22 weeks pregnant. Baby GIRL #2 is due sometime in the middle of January 2012 (EDD Jan 15).

 Here's lookin' at you kid... straight at you. Yeah, it's a little creepy to see her face from this angle, but the little sweetheart wouldn't cooperate! She's really been a mover. It really surprises me how much she's moving! The ultrasound confirlmed that she's growing just right. Nothing could make me happier than to hear that our little rainbow baby is doing just fine!

Getting homesick, mommy and Ava went to visit Poppa and Noni in Pocatello. It was an awesome time for both of us. Ava re-connected with them instantly. She had such a wonderful time! Mommy was able to relax a bit and have some special time with her mommy. we didn't want to leave but we had to get home to daddy who was working overtime. We really can't wait to get out of Chester again. Everyone is looking forward to our next trip. Come November we will be visiting Nana, Tara, Dave, and the kids in Missouri. Can't wait!

I Believe the Children are Our Future

Let me preface this post by saying, I am not the perfect person. I do not profess to know all there is about parenting. But I do know a lot. I know that I love my family. I love my daughter. Being a mother is the profession I've chosen over being a Veterinarian, Nurse, Educator, or Nutritionist (for now). The reason I've laid by all my other goals for being those things is that I get do all of those, everyday, as a mom. I consider this choice to be a mother as my career. And because, in any career I would have otherwise chosen, I would strive to be the best I could possibly be, I do my research. Part of my day is spent researching ways to become a better mother. But lately I keep coming across an issue that cannot leave my mind. It is for this reason, I have to write this post.

We really dislike the word discipline around here.

Now, that doesn't mean that I don't set boundaries or limits for my child. I means that the word discipline has taken on negative connotations and most often means spanking and time-outs. I really dislike hearing people say that you must spank your child, count to three, or put them in time-out to get a child to behave.

I experienced a lot of this sort of "discipline" when I was a child. Our babysitter would paddle us whenever we were in trouble. I remember her slapping me across the face because I wasn't going to sleep one night. Instead I was lying in my sleeping bag pretending to drive a bus. She had a paddle-ball paddle, ball removed, to spank us with. And I haven't really come to terms with all of this. I fear doing to my child what she did to me. I grew up having bad self esteem and feared authority. Perhaps it's because of this trauma that I am so enraged when people confuse "discipline" for love.

If we really love our children, we will find truly loving ways of guiding them through this world without hitting or shaming or sticking them alone into a corner to think about what they've done. The way that we handle our children's problems is the way they will handle their own problems. Hit them when things go wrong and they will learn that violence is ok and that it's alright to pick on the little guy. Shame them into changing their behavior and they will learn to dislike who they are. Exchange time-outs (alone) for time-ins (time on mom's lap discussing the problem).

What I have learned (from hours upon hours of personal study) is that when a child does something wrong, there is ALWAYS something behind that behavior. Whether it's lack of sleep, hunger, pain, loneliness, boredom, inability to express themselves or anything else, it can be solved with love - no matter what.

The result of parenting in this way is a child who calms easier, is happier for longer, and is able to deal with their own feelings in a more productive way. Ava is proof that it works. Sure, we've got meltdowns (both of us). But they don't last very long and we always re-connect afterward. She knows I'm there helping her work through it. It's worth it to treat your little ones with respect. We want them to grow up and show respect to the whole world.

Our Mission Statement

My reason for everything!

After talking to my mom one night about the importance of having a missions statement, I set about making our family's. So here it is... :)

Our Family Mission Statement:

Our purpose as a family is to communicate effectively, treat each other with respect and love, and realize our goals in a way that lets us best develop our skills and talents creatively, strengthens our character, bodies, minds, and souls, and allows us to work as one in our eternal family so that we can raise and become strong, independent, thoughtful, and intelligent individuals while keeping our faith in God.

We will accomplish this by:

1.) Accepting everyone as they are, but encouraging growth and change for the better.

2.) Speaking to each other with respect and showing consideration at all times. We are courteous and kind.

3.) Encouraging each other to make right choices and supporting righteous decisions. The choices we make affect those we love. In serious matters, we act as a family unit.

4.) Valuing privacy and trust. We know that there are consequences to all of our actions and we agree to take responsibility for our choices.

5.) Living our lives to be a good example for others. We expect to be treated the way we treat others.

6.) Performing our responsibilities, callings, jobs, and careers to the best of our ability.

7.) Keeping our sights on the Temple and the Celestial Kingdom at all times in our lives.

8.) Knowing who we are - children of our Heavenly Father, and what we represent - His Church. We conduct ourselves in a way that does not tarnish the name of those. For this reason, we do not use profanity, do not take the Lord’s name in vain, and follow the Word of Wisdom and the teachings of the Prophets.

9.) Working to live debt free (except for necessary debts) and conduct our finances in a way that leaves us free from needless burden. We do not need the newest or the best of everything in order to feel fulfilled.

10.) Making plans for the future and striving to follow through with those plans to reach our goals.

11.) Encouraging young men (and women if they so choose) to go on a worthy mission and preparing financially for that eventuality.

12.) Operating from one income so that mom can stay home and manage the running and raising of our family.

13.) Trying to keep Family Home Evening as a priority on Monday nights and keeping the Sabbath Day holy.

14.) Making sure our bodies, minds, and home are clean. We act with humility and modesty.

15.) Tithing honestly and giving fast and other offerings when possible. Instead of giving money to charities, we know that the Lord knows best where to distribute our offerings and we will do so through His Church.

16.) Taking and making opportunities to serve others whenever possible. We strive to use and develop our talents and gifts to benefit others.

17.) Keeping food storage on hand, working up to maintaining and rotating a year’s worth of food for our family, and keeping our 72 hour kits stocked and nearby in case of emergency.

18.) Giving our elders, leaders, and teachers the respect and attention they deserve.

19.) Respecting our country and its leaders. We recognize that we are blessed to live in America and will obey the law and follow the rules put forth by our leaders. If we don’t agree with the law, we will take appropriate and legal actions to facilitate the change we desire.

20.) Showing pride in our family members’ accomplishments and successes and supporting them through their defeats, failures, and trials.

New In Town!

Ava playing at a rest stop.

We've been the new blood in Chester for almost two weeks now. It snowed a ton the day we were headed up here. We got a chance to stop by and see Noni and Papa (as Ava calls Grandpa now) in Idaho before heading north. We got to Chester just before a huge storm that dumped some snow. Not too bad, but we were a little worried. The next day, we tried to ready the house for the movers but, really, how much can you do in one day? The highlight of the move was when the 18 wheeler got stuck in the snow/slush and the deputy had to pull him out with his Ford. The sheriff's guys were so proud.

Our new church home!

We made it to church the next Sunday and found that the branch here has a lovely bunch of people and quite an eclectic mix. The President is like a big kid. His wife is the sweetest woman I've ever met. There are a couple of families who have welcomed us into the branch/community with open arms. They both have kids. We've gotten along smashingly. I hope they like me. Both Mike and I are eager to please and since we really want to be a part of this community, we've been worried about it more than usual. Mike's job is going well. He has a lot on his plate. It seems like every time he comes home I hear about his new "baby" at work - another project his boss has him in charge of. I think he secretly likes it! Ava and I have made it to a playgroup a couple times. I like our options for friends here. Still, I hope they like me too. :)

Conference was this last weekend and Ava loves playing "Find President Monson." :)

Bathtime fun.

Ava and Daddy watching a movie.

Netflix is the big deal in our house now. It's working well in place of cable! We're settling in to our new life quite nicely and are working out a few kinks. I'm still trying to be supermom. Thus far I'd give myself an A for effort.

Looking Back - The Last 5 Months

Well, well, well, what have we here? I'm a procrastinator of the worst sort. Okay. I admit. I haven't felt like writing about anything for a while becasue I've been sort of wallowing in a little sadness. I thought that things weren't going so well, so it was harder and harder to come up with good things to say. As I don't want other people to hear me gripe, I just quit writing. Well, I'm done with that part of my life now. Lots of really great things happened and I know we've all grown. Now lets move on. :)

We went to Seattle to visit Noni and Grandpa, Unkie Dave and Amie in November. Christmas was very nice. New Years was good. I made zero resolutions since I obviously didn't keep with the ones I made last year. They make me nervous so I didn't make any. :) Around the end of January, we found out we were pregnant, just to find out that we were having an early miscarriage. It was hard since we have been waiting for baby #2 since Ava turned a year old. We have both come to our own terms with the loss though. we're really looking forward to the next few months since the chances are higher that we will get pregnant now. Thank you hormones!

We also found out a month ago that Mike got accepted for an awesome job in chester, Montana! He will be a Natural Resource Specialist for the Department of Reclaimation. We're so excited to move. It's been sort of sad though. We have to leave our home of the past two years. Rolla has been so great to us (aside from not offering us jobs). I have made some lifelong friends. Our family is here. It's where Ava was born. I think the hardest thing is separating Ava and her cousins. But we're still excited. It's a great opportunity to start our own lives and it's going to be the start of quite an adventure.

Ava is still doing really well. She's so smart! She is still beyond her peers in development. She is speaking in short two or three word sentences now. She's getting into everything and making huge messes. I'm glad I know it's just a part of her learning what happens when she pulls all the keys off my keyboard or dumps the crackers on the floor and then grinds them in. She's learning... it's ok. I just have to keep repeating that to myself to keep my sanity. We're working on not reacting harshly. That's the first thing you want to do is yell and get mad. That's really no way to be. I hate feeling angry or mad and it's really just a part of the process, so why get mad?

She's quite the copycat too! We've really got to watch what we say and do because she can hear a word once and repeat it. Yesterday that word was "Shut-up" thanks to her cousins. I have always hated that word. It's good that she's so cute though... it came out as "Shup bup." I can handle that. People tell me the Terrible Two's are here. I can't think of it that way! She's not terrible. She's amazing! Everything she does these days makes me laugh or shake my head in wonder.

She's tall and skinny. Well, I say skinny but she looks good. For a while I was worrying about her weight dropping but I finally decided that her body knows what is best and she's evened out now. She's stopped now around the 18th percentile for height to weight and now we're all ok with that. :)

My plans for the future are to become a better stay-at-home mom. I'm really hoping that this move, and getting into a routine like we once had when mike had a 9-5, will help me be able to cook dinners every night. I'm trying to do at least one learning activity with Ava a day. These aren't necessarily learning based but more fun things that we can do one-on-one. I feel awfully in-between these days as we don't know the exact day that the movers are coming. Since we're being moved we can't pack our own things. That's a blessing and a curse. I feel kind of in limbo. I'm hoping, now that we will be far from all our family members, to keep track of posting updates. I won't even say a goal lest I jinx myself. I just hope to be all-around more thoughtful with my life to be a better wife and mother than I feel like I have been lately. Luckily, I think my fibromyalgia/joint pain is lessening again. It got to its highest point from Oct-Dec which is also why I havn't felt like writing much. When you feel like crap, your outlook is crap and I didn't want that to come out in print. I think that voicing it when I am in pain helps though. I want my kids to know that it is ok to feel bad for a while. It's part of the process of making your way out of trials. You CAN wallow. As long as you work on making it out of the pain and then asses how you've grown it's ok. I've grown a lot from the last two years. I feel like the last two years have been our trial. Now, as we make our way to (hopefully) better times, I hope I am thankful enough and can grow from it.